As we usher in the month of November, I have the pleasure of sharing with you November’s Evolving Being in Action.
This month’s story comes to us from Sandra Pawula of Always Well Within.
I have had the pleasure of knowing Sandra for a few months now and experiencing her passion for various areas of working towards a greater good for all. She is an extremely talented writer and is able to convey all her messages with such ease, love and compassion, that permeate through all her words.
Sandra’s story, is a story of taking accountability for all of our life’s circumstances. We can continue to walk the same reactive path we always have, or we can choose today to start anew. In her story, Sandra sheds light on how she has moved away from fear and misery, and into the light of love, kindness and compassion. Through sharing her experience, she paves the way for each of us, to do the same. To attain more love and freedom, and break away from pain and suffering.
Sandra is an extraordinary role model and her story demonstrates that clearly. Thus, please help me welcome Sandra, as she shares with us her “evolving being” story:
What area(s) of your spiritual/emotional life have you decided to change and why?
Everything! In small steps, of course.
Anger, frustration, impatience, and blame have been key themes in my life. I’ve found that change begins with an intention, but on a day-to-day basis, it doesn’t always feel like a “conscious” decision. It sometimes feels more like circumstances are conspiring to annoy me. For me, this is the clue that there’s a tremendous opportunity for transformation sitting right in front of me.
For example, I went through a challenging period when I encountered the same trigger day in and day out. I reacted with the same age-old response of frustration, impatience, and blame – probably hundreds of times.
One day, I suddenly woke up and realized that these negative emotions were literally eating me up. They were harming me far more than anyone else. As Mark Twain said, “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” I made a vow then and there to no longer let those negative emotions get the best of me.
Fear has also been a challenge for me due to frightening childhood experiences and trauma as a young adult. While I haven’t overcome all my fears, some major lifelong fears have dropped away. It may seem sudden when it finally happens, but it’s actually the result of regular spiritual practice.
Spiritual practice is about honestly facing yourself and working with your own mind, emotions, habits, and the results of your actions. Once you have a willingness to change and make a commitment to do so, you can’t help but notice how the world conspires to help you along the way.
At first, the patterns may seem even stronger, the weather even stormier. But persistence pays and a sense of humor takes away the sting. Change happens, but not always in the way that you expect or in the timeframe you have set.
Now, why do I say “everything?” In my tradition, it is said that there are four obscurations that hinder us from realizing our true nature. They are karmic obscurations (negative actions), emotional obscurations (negative emotions), cognitive obscurations (dualistic thinking), and habitual obscurations (a very subtle form of cognitive obscuration). That adds up to just about everything – our entire way of seeing and being in the world.
That may sound overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. In the beginning, just focus on one change you would like to see, or adopt one simple spiritual practice. Slowly, slowly we’ll get there fast.
Transforming thoughts and emotions is the heart of the spiritual path. Tertön Sogyal, the Tibetan mystic, once said that he was not really impressed by someone who could turn the floor into the ceiling or fire into water. In his estimation, a real miracle was if someone could liberate just one negative emotion.
What strategies have you implemented to change, who inspired you, person or organization, book, etc.?
I’ve been studying and practicing Tibetan Buddhism for over twenty years – although I often feel like I’m just a beginner.
I’ve had the good fortune to receive teachings from some of the most extraordinary Tibetan masters of our time like Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, and Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche. I’ve also been profoundly inspired by the younger generation of masters like Tsoknyi Rinpoche, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, and Khandro Rinpoche. The teachers who have influenced me the most are His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Sogyal Rinopche and Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche.
Three extraordinary spiritual classics that I read again and again are The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, and Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki.
How have the changes benefited your overall life, happiness up to this point?
My husband used to affectionately call me a “fierce creature.” Now he says that I am lighter, softer, and happier. He also finds that I’m more joyful, accepting, patient, and heart-felt. We had many energetic arguments the first years of our marriage. Nowadays, we may have an occasional tense moment but they are few and far between. There’s less fear and anger in my life.
I still have many patterns to address. I still get swept away by strong emotions from time-to-time. But generally I’m more relaxed and spacious, and I get back on track faster. I’m far happier and more content – that’s for sure.
At the same time, when your heart starts to open, there may also be a little sadness. You see all the unnecessary suffering in the world and can’t help but feel a little heartbroken. This isn’t necessarily bad. It’s a powerful impetus to go beyond your self-pre-occupation and focus on helping others as best you can.
Spiritual teachings and practice have given me an entirely different perspective on life and a new view of reality. I now know that all the thoughts and emotions that we take to be so solid and real – as though they are our very identity – are simply like clouds passing by in the sky.
All our suffering comes from clinging to our thoughts and emotions, and not recognizing our true nature. But we’re not stuck with suffering – it can be overcome. The tools and guidance are available to us thanks to the many wisdom traditions existing today.
What are the next steps or goals in your life as an evolving being?
I need to deepen my faith far more. Faith, trust, and surrender are so important on the spiritual path and especially at the moment of death. I’m not speaking of blind faith, but rather the confidence that comes from studying and contemplating the teachings, realizing their truth, and allowing that truth to transform your being and the way you operate in the world.
Learning to relax and let go has been an aspiration and focus for many years, but I still have so much more to learn in this regard. There’s such a strong tendency to try to freeze life and keep it safely the way it is. Meditation is a powerful way to observe the constantly changing atmosphere of your mind and learn to let go of thoughts and emotions as they arise. We have to give up everything when we die. It’s never to early to get a head-start on the practice so we can meet death with confidence and joy.
What message do you have for others who are struggling or embarking on a similar journey?
You are not your thoughts, emotions, or habits. Your true nature is like the sky and your thoughts and emotions are like the clouds that obscure it – they are not permanent. You have the very same innermost nature as a Buddha, whatever name you might call it by – True Self, Soul, Oneness, God, Buddha Nature.
Meditation is the way to reconnect with your true nature and let go of all the suffering that comes from grasping onto thoughts and emotions. Meditation helps you to calm and settle the mind, so that your true nature naturally shines through.
Love and compassion are also essential qualities on the spiritual path. As best you can, cultivate a heart of kindness towards yourself and others.
In the beginning, it’s good to try out different spiritual approaches and traditions to find one that resonates for you. Later, if you really wish to progress, I personally believe it’s beneficial to follow one path. It’s important to respect all spiritual traditions, but I’m not a fan of mixing them up. If you would like to meet a spiritual teacher, make aspirations and prayers. It will happen in its own time.
Challenges will occur and are, in fact, the spiritual path. Patience, humor, and inspiration are the best companions whether the weather is cloudy or bright. We’ve all been practicing dysfunctional patterns for eons. They won’t all be transformed overnight!
I’ll leave you with this inspiring advice from the eminent master Dudjom Rinpoche, “Always have a sky inside you.”
Thank you, Evita, for this special opportunity to connect with your community. I’m grateful for all that you do to help others lead a happier and healthier life.
26 Comments to “Evolving Being in Action: Sandra Pawula”
Hi Sandra and Evita,
Wow SUCH powerful and amazing words Sandra!
“I still have many patterns to address. I still get swept away by strong emotions from time-to-time. But generally I’m more relaxed and spacious, and I get back on track faster. I’m far happier and more content – that’s for sure.” — Those words feel like ME too Sandra… It is a constant evolution. The most important thing I have found is celebrating those good moments.. those moments that were NOT reacted to unconsciously. I used to get stuck beating myself up for each unconscious moments because I felt “I knew better”.. now I know, this too is part of the process.
Thank you for sharing so much inspiration. What keeps blowing my mind is how much we DO create our reality… it truly begins with us and when we tap into that INNER TRUE US “having the sky within us” there truly is NOTHING that can stop us from living the life of our dreams.
Much love and big hugs,
Jenny
Hi Jenny,
I love your positive and energetic enthusiasm. Celebrating our accomplishments on the path – however small they may seem – is definitely the ticket. The phrase “constant evolution” is so perfect. You’ve made an amazing journey yourself and I am so delighted to see how you share your gifts with others.
This is really wonderful! Evita, thank you for featuring Sandra. I think she has so many wonderful thoughts and ideas, and it’s a pleasure to get to know her better here.
Sandra, thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed getting to know you a little better, and to see where you are coming from. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and interacting with you on twitter. I think you have a really great story to share…so thank you for sharing it! :)
Hi Jay,
It was so inspiring to read your story last month as the October Evolving Being in Action. I really appreciated how being a father cracked your heart open. I also admire how you too are committed to a continuous evolution and are not afraid to work with”the dark side.”
Thanks for your kind words. Good luck with your new blog Jay’s Words. I look forward to seeing all that evolves there.
What a great interview from one of my favorite bloggers, Sandra.
I can completely relate to the emotional costs of anger, impatience, and frustration. Since my faith walk has deepened and matured I am finding it much easier to left stuff go and just “be.” God is ultimately in control, so all of my stress and worry are really wasted energy and wasted time.
Sandra, your writing is a national treasure. And thank you, Evita, for making her a part of your world.
Hi Bob,
I really like the discovery you’ve made about letting go of the illusion of control and learning that the stress and worry are just wasted energy. That’s huge. Thanks for sharing that here. It’s been just a joy to slowly get to know you and discover your beautiful heart.
Hi Sandra,
You truly shine at the words Evita has created around this monthly theme – “evolving being”. So, so wonderful to read your words and connect more deeply with who you are.
I especially connected with your thoughts on death. This idea of letting go of emotions and thoughts…and how that well prepares us for the time when we’ll leave this earth in the form we are today. As someone who is newly practicing meditation, these words hold extra meaning today. Sandra, thank you for sharing this – and know that this is all so good for me to read, as I continue down the spiritual path I am on.
Peace,
Lance
You are so kind, Lance. It is said that death is a tremendous opportunity. It’s one thing to know this and another to really believe it. That’s my goal.
How wonderful you have dived into meditation. I hope that the process goes smoothly for you and that eventually you will write about it on your blog. A good sense of humor – like you have – really comes in handy when we are learning to meditate.
Thanks for all your sweetness and light.
Hi Sandra. I like the quote by Tertön Sogyal, and I totally agree. The word miracle implies something extraordinary, the true miracle is honesty and truthful action and interactions. The greatest miracles are subtle. With observation every moment is a miracle. Gegu would say, when you know there’s nothing to let go of, when you know there’s nothing to change, change occurs. Sandra you’re perfect. No teacher can make you aware of who you truly are, they can only make you aware of who they are. I love this ~ “Spiritual practice is about honestly facing yourself.”
I love your blog. I find magic there. You’re a gift to this world, and I’ve enjoyed learning more about you. Love and peace.
Simon,
I really enjoyed Evita’s last article on the New Moon Expo, especially the way it highlighted all the good friends she met there like YOU. I loved this description of you:
“Simon’s energy is literally out of this world. His care, kindness and genuine love for people is one of the rarest I have ever seen. To be in his presence is healing itself.”
It was so nice to see you through Evita’s eyes.
Gegu is brilliant! I really like his “thinking” about recognizing our true perfection. That’s a really interesting thought about teachers. I’ve met exceptional teachers in my lifetime, who have the capacity to show you who you are by showing you who they are — because our innermost nature is the same. But this is exceptional indeed. And, you have to see for yourself so perhaps we are saying the same thing.
It’s so sweet of you to say you find magic on my blog. I suspect you find magic in many places. :-) I’m so glad you are shining a light in this world.
Evita, I was so thrilled to see Sandra featured here this month! Over the past couple of months, I have come to see each of my blogging friends as a representation of special gifts and talents. More than anything, I have come to see Sandra as a sort of spiritual guide. I’ve been very interested in learning more about her spiritual journey, and so was happy to receive that here.
Sandra, the story of your journey (well, this small chapter of it anyhow) is so inspiring! I’ve been on a spiritual journey for most of my life…bouncing in and out of religious beliefs. For quite some time, I didn’t understand that spirituality could exist outside of a defined religion. I’ve been fortunate to be blessed with a few spiritual guides in my life, although not in the traditional sense. They’ve been friends and supporters who have shared my journey with me and answered my questions in the best way that they could. Little by little, they’ve helped shine light on some of the dark and uncertain areas of religion and spirituality. I’ve finally come to a place where I feel comfortable with my spirituality. It’s no longer something confusing or foreign to me. But, I feel like I’ve reached a bit of a stand-still. Rather than desperately searching, I feel like I’ve been silently waiting for the next step to come to me. I really like the idea of a “spiritual guide,” as you mentioned, and hope I will find one on my path. In the meantime, your words and inspiration have served as my guide…continuously grounding me in my spiritual self. Thank you :)
Hello Adrienne,
I am so glad to have connected with you through the synchronicity of this vast internet-verse. You represent purity of heart in my eyes. I feel it’s so important to be spiritual friends to one another as we strive to stay connected to heart and soul in this materially oriented world. I’m just a beginner on the path, but I’ve been fortunate to receive many teachings and am glad that I could share a little of what I’ve learned with you.
It’s so wonderful to hear that you feel comfortable with your spirituality now. A place of receptivity is a good place to be. I hope your wish for a spiritual guide comes to fruition in perfect timing and that you move swiftly along the path. In the meantime, your good heart is touching all of around you. Thanks for your appreciative words.
“I feel it’s so important to be spiritual friends to one another as we strive to stay connected to heart and soul in this materially oriented world” — Me too, Sandra. I would like that very much. :)
Sandra, thank you for sharing your story. I have learned much about you from this post. You’ve certainly got a lot of wonderful messages to share, things that resonate with me. It’s great that we share a similar interest in meditation. Meditation too has helped me with inner peace, and taught me much about impermanence.
May you and Evita be well and happy always!
Greetings Evelyn,
Thanks for telling us about your positive experience with meditation. I too find it makes such a difference in the quality of one’s life, mind, and heart. I love the uplifting spirit at your blog. Stay well always!
Hi Sandra,
I can’t imaging you being a “fierce creature,” that’s amazing. Congratulations for all the good work you’ve been doing during your life path.
You had me thoughtful with your comment about finding a spiritual path, regarding sampling different traditions and then focusing on one path. I’ll have to ponder that thought for awhile as I tend to be a sampler, big time. But, I think that’s (maybe) made me more of a Jane of All Trades, Master of None and I’m not sure if I want that to continue. It might be time for me to focus — very interesting point, Sandra.
Also, I really like the photos here. Of course, of your gorgeous smile, but I really like the clouds, too. They leave me with a feeling of surrender and clarity. I love photos of clouds.
Thanks for sharing your words with us, Sandra, and thanks, Evita, for inviting Sandra to share and for holding this space for everyone.
Love to you both,
~xo
Hi Lori,
I’ve been a Jane of All Trades all my life too! I’m glad I’ve stimulated your thinking. My experience has been that there’s a power, deepening, and maturation that can come from following one path, while respecting all traditions. Of course, I still read from other traditions from time to time; this is not meant in a rigid sense by any means. It’s like the difference between getting a PhD or taking one course. We’re all different though and have different spiritual aspirations. What fits for me may not fit for someone else.
I loved reading your feature story for Evolving Wellness in Action for November on Evita’s sister site. You have a wonderful approach to health and wellness.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
I really like the way you laid out your journey, your heroes, and favorite works that have shaped your path. Your story of transformation is impressive.
> cultivate a heart of kindness
That’s the key to a compassionate life.
Thanks, J. D. I like how you always go to the heart of the matter!
Very helpful! It seemed as though you were talking both to, and about, me! I suspect that is evidence of the wisdom of your post — it speaks to all of us! What I found particularly helpful was your comment about increasing faith. I feel like that is key to letting go of more and more of what triggers and limits us. Thanks for the helpful advice!
Thank you so much for your affirmation! I’m so happy the post resonated for you. There are different levels of faith. When we are inspired by a teacher or a teacher or a situation, it sparks faith but that type of faith is not necessarily long last. My aim is to cultivate a bullet-proof confident faith! The material world is always calling us to see it as real, but fortunately, in this case, resistance is not futile! I really appreciate your comment.
What a wonderful soul to meet, Evita. Thank you! You gravitate towards such amazing beings — and they to your loving giving ways.
Hello Sandra Lee. Blogging has helped me veer towards more love and less light,and much less misery. That is not to say I was a miserable person before. But connecting with people such as yourself has been the most amazing gift!! And enriched my life in such positive ways, I cannot begin to describe.
I agree with the tendency to “freeze” things as they are is a human trait is is so freeing to let go. Let things unfold. Never worry. (Or try not to!) :)
I like the idea of focusing on one small change — it does add up big-time. And beautifully.
Feeling like I’ve just sat under my favorite tree and breathed in the beauty of the day after reading this! Thank you both.
xoxo
Hi Jannie,
It’s wonderful to hear how blogging has helped you veer toward more love and light and less misery. There is definitely a web of love and I’m so happy to have plugged into it too!
I agree that worry is one of the most useless states of mind ever! It takes time and patience to move beyond it but it’s definitely possible. Especially focusing on one small change at a time like you suggest.
I loved the imagery of sitting under your favorite tree and breathing in the beauty of the day! Thank you.
Spiritual practice is about honestly facing yourself and working with your own mind, emotions, habits, and the results of your actions.
All our suffering comes from clinging to our thoughts and emotions, and not recognizing our true nature.
Sandra,
There are many powerful words in this and these two sentences stand out for me.
Also I’m writing down the names of those books and will check them out. It sounds like your hubs and you have a great relationship. Thanks for sharing this and allowing us to get to know you even better.
Hi Tess,
I’m so happy to “see” you! I’ve been missing you.
So glad these lines resonated for you. I think it’s easy to misunderstand an experience as the goal of the spiritual path, when it’s really about transforming our hearts and mind.
I do have an incredible husband. He’s constantly growing and changing and inspiring me.
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