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The first thing that human beings of the New Earth, the New Age, the Age of Christ-Consciousness or whatever you want to call it will realize, is that we are the creators of our own reality.
Numerous books and experts speak out on this topic widely today, including those from scientific, philosophical and even spiritual fields.
If you still find this hard to believe, but you generally speaking accept the Bible, then think again about what that line “You are created in the image and likeness of God” means.
Aside from the many amazing things that it does mean, one of them is that just as God is a creator, so are we. It would be a sad thought to think that you were put on this Earth to act out like a puppet whose strings are pulled according to what another wants or has planned for you.
Okay, so based on this idea of creating your own reality, you have heard of the Law of Attraction. Perhaps you are one of those beings who have even been putting it into conscious practice on a regular basis and finding that most of the time it works by manifesting in your life what you want, but sometimes it seems like it doesn’t.
So therefore today, let us examine together the 3 D’s that play the greatest role of resistance in manifesting your creations – doubt, details and disappointment. It is not that these 3 things stop the Law of Attraction from working, because it always works, but they can be the greatest hindrances to creating the reality that YOU desire.
Doubt
SCENARIO 1 – You wake up in the morning. You have a thought. You want to create a pleasant and fun day for yourself today. But then you remember that you have a meeting with someone whose company you do not enjoy. You begin to doubt your day as you remember how this person treated you, the last time you met.
SCENARIO 2 – You desire a mate in your life. You begin to create the mate of your dreams through conscious thoughts. You begin spending more time in social situations. You start meeting people that you find all have horrible qualities. You begin to doubt that the “right” person for you exists out there.
SCENARIO 3 – You desire more money flowing to you and having financial abundance. You know you will have that through the new job you are consciously creating. You get excited as you get the interview. You find yourself in a room with others who all seem way more qualified for the job. You begin to doubt that you have a chance at this job.
So if it is not obvious yet, do you see what all three of the above scenarios have in common? They all have the right desire. They all have the right intention and even action to be an active participant in one’s creation and then they all invite in doubt.
It is at this moment that we have put all the right thoughts into play, have started to feel all the right emotions and the Law of Attraction is following through, as it always does, setting up for us wonderful opportunities to manifest our desires. It is then that we halt it right in its tracks from following through with our initial desire, by adding in the element of doubt.
Doubt may seem like such a harmless and tiny occurrence, but in terms of Universal Laws, it cancels out the thoughts, desires and emotions that we have been putting forth. Now you needn’t worry, it does not necessarily mean that doubt cancels your creation completely, it just slows it down. By how much? By as along as you keep having those feelings and thoughts, you are negating the motions of the Law of Attraction for your so called “desired outcome”. It is as the saying goes “one step forward, two steps back”.
It is also at this time, that many people start to think and feel that this whole process of deliberate creation is just a big bunch of baloney. Too bad, because I am sure they did not say that about math formulas in high school when they did not understand the math. Be sure you do not get caught as one of these people, as you may be depriving yourself of amazing things in your own life.
So ultimately the whole idea of doubt comes down to confusing the Universe. Remember, we always get what we focus most on, what we give most of our attention to. Hence, as one minute you want a certain thing and the next you are giving attention to it NOT happening, it is like you are giving the Universe mixed messages.
Therefore remember, it is not until we are clear and focused on what we really want, consistently, that we can expect that creation to manifest.
Details
SCENARIO 1 – You walk past your favorite store and see a fabulous outfit you really want. You start thinking about it and imagining yourself in it. Then you also have a thought of how much it costs and that you really cannot afford it now. You dismiss that and then you start wondering if perhaps that is not the right color for you or the right shape for your figure.
SCENARIO 2 – You desire money and you begin visualizing cheques coming to you with money. You then start to think “but where are they going to come from?” You also start thinking about what amounts they would actually be and would those amounts be sufficient to meet your desires.
SCENARIO 3 – You desire to improve the relationship between you and your spouse. You then remember how poor your communication is. You start thinking that you cannot possibly increase your alone time with both your schedules. You also start feeling that there are too many people in your lives that pull you in opposite directions.
So what do all of the above scenarios have in common? They are all focusing on the details of making the creations manifest. As you do that you are adding fuel to the fire of resistance.
This is probably one of the hardest things for us as adults to overcome, as from the time we are little we are taught to do this, “work out the details”, “focus on the details” and worst of all “to get real”. But the last person that told you to get real also had no understanding of what reality really is and that each of us is capable of creating our own.
Therefore, every time we throw in and focus on a million and one details of how a particular thing is going to manifest, we are actually resisting our creations from manifesting. To the Law of Attraction we are focusing again on the lack of or the absence of our particular thing. We are telling the Universe things like “well this is going to be hard”, “this is going to be impossible”, “this is very unlikely to happen” and so we get exactly that.
Remember again, whatever you give your attention or focus to, that is what you get. You think and believe that something is unlikely to happen, then it is and will be unlikely to happen.
Finally, one of the other factors that is working against you in this scenario is that focusing on the details usually leads to doubt and hence we are back at square one.
So the next time you find yourself focusing on all the when’s, how’s and why’s, catch yourself in the thought, laugh it off and remind yourself that your job is simply to hold the vibrational frequency of the desire, while it is the Universe’s job to do the manifesting. Leave the details thus to it. At times this may take great faith and getting “unreal” instead of “real”, but that is just part of the fun!
(For more on how to achieve and hold a vibrational frequency (vortex), see “Where are my manifestations?“)
Disappointment
SCENARIO 1 – You desire a business acquisition of some sort. You visualized it, you felt it happen and felt great emotions about it. Your co-worker tells you there is a delay in the answer and you reply with a disappointed response.
SCENARIO 2 – You desire a baby and hence you start trying to get pregnant. You think about the joy a baby would bring into your life, you experience the wonderful emotions you anticipate. You start walking by baby stores and picking out the things you would buy. Month after month goes by and you are not pregnant. Disappointment sets in.
SCENARIO 3 – You desire to reconnect with an estranged relative. You feel the love you once felt for each other. You focus your thoughts on how wonderful family trips were with them. You keep thinking about how much the whole family will benefit from this reunion and so you make a phone call to connect and your invitation is turned down. You walk away in disappointment.
Again, I think the above three scenarios all have obvious similarities. Things at some point do not go our way and we let disappointment set in.
While disappointment on its own does not actually have to be a negative thing, what makes it so negative is our reaction to it. See there are two parts to why disappointment happens and why it wreaks negative results for most of us.
First, we get attached to the outcome. Yes, yes I know you may say “how can I not get attached to the outcome of my desire?” But I tell you this, as soon as you become attached to the outcome, you become dependant on it and whenever we become dependent on something, we bring in an element of insecurity. Now, if that does not speak for itself, insecurity is not only a negative emotion, but where the Law of Attraction is concerned, it will give us exactly that – negative emotions that lead out of insecurity.
Secondly, we get attached to the disappointment itself. Something does not go our way and we focus on that. We dwell on it, we tell everyone about it and we live it, even long after it has passed. Hence we are now living and focusing on the disappointment with all the powerful emotions attached to that. Well the Law of Attraction was getting your desires, but now gets all these strong emotions of your new focus and so gives you more of that. Like energy attracts more of the same.
Thus, the best way to move through disappointment or not even bring that experience to yourself is to desire your particular outcome with no strings attached. Simply know it is coming, it may not be today and it may not be tomorrow, for you may not be consciously aware of all your resistive thoughts and emotions in your life. But know that it is coming – that is the power of the Law of Attraction – it never fails!
Conclusion
Bottom line when it comes to the Law of Attraction, you will always get what you focus on. Therefore be careful that you do not judge your thoughts too quickly and state “but I always focus on what I want and I still do not get it”, because as long as you invite doubt, details and disappointment into your thinking you are focusing on that type of energy and will only attract more of that. Never mind, if you re-read the above statement, you should see the contradiction you may be saying blatantly. In other words you are focusing on the lack of, rather than the manifestation of what you want.
There is nothing here that should frighten or depress you. You do not need to think back and say “Oh no, all those wrong thoughts I had…” That is definitely not going to help. Although it will help to be more conscious of your thoughts, remember that some of our minds are very unconscious and conditioned to think negatively first. Therefore do not beat yourself up for any negative thought that you may have where doubt, details or disappointment are concerned.
Simply remember, the next time you apply deliberate creation in your life and do not get the desired outcome to analyze what thoughts and emotions came into your experience during this time and see if you can identify at least one of the 3 D’s that you had invited into your experience during that time. You may, or perhaps may not, be surprised by what you find.
Ultimately the goal is to stay in the same vibrational state as your desire. So if you want to be a magnet to a particular outcome, you have to align yourself to vibrate at the same frequency as that desired outcome. Your only goal is to be pure, positive energy, in whatever it is that you are thinking, being and doing – regardless of whether it is related to your initial desire or not. While this will take a bit of practice for some, you will notice a tremendous improvement in your creation especially fast, if you do not invite the 3 D’s into your deliberate creation process.
Feel free to share any experiences you have had, where one of the 3 D’s has kept you from reaching your desires.
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the main author of EvolvingBeings.com where she writes about spiritual and personal development. She hopes to inspire people, to truly live out the life of their dreams and awaken the highest version of themselves. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow Evita Ochel on Twitter.
13 Comments to “The 3 D’s that Hinder the Law of Attraction”
This is wonderful, Evita. This lesson can never be overstated; opportunities for practice will appear over and again, until we learn to exercise our mental abilities effortlessly.
Everything you state here is the truth, as I know it. Since starting to practice the LOA several years ago, I’ve seen amazing—even dramatic—results. Yet old ways are hard to shed, sometimes.
Something to remember is there are two worlds: the outer and inner. My forte is the inner one; by this, I mean imagining and holding the emotional outcome, and then seeing the manifestation. My struggle is when opposing forces are so strong. I don’t yet seem to have the solid, secure footing that I need to meld the outer and inner worlds as beautifully as I want.
You asked for examples. Without going into detail, I failed miserably over our holiday week because I allowed all three of your “Ds” into my awareness, and then I compounded it by not letting go. After out-of-town guests returned home, I was still agonizing over events, essentially reliving all that happened.
And, yes, as I wrote this, I caught exactly the point where I started to slip. It was in my phrasing: “…because I allowed…” I let history shape my thoughts, instead of shaping them anew, myself.
Each circumstance is different, and each provides opportunity to stretch different willpower muscles. Until it all becomes effortless second nature, we’ll have lots of chance for practice. ;)
Hello Julie :)
I noticed your sentence about shedding old habits and how hard that may be. I thought about this as I find this topic really always gets me thinking about what really is the root cause here. I am starting to realize that it is all comes down to consciousness so much. Just imagine if we were acting out of consciousness or a state of complete awareness at ALL times, then we would never catch ourselves doing something “out of habit”, especially if it does not serve us.
Hence the way I try to live out, now and perhaps this may be useful to you too, is not to focus on getting rid of, or trying to break old habits or conditioning (this usually leads to some sort of mild disappointment), but trying to increase and live out of as constant as possible state of consciousness. For when we are conscious, as I stated above, every thought and action is deliberate and one that serves us.
Thank you for sharing your experience from the previous week. Wow you got it so good – as I read your line too about “allowing it”. Indeed in life whether consciously or unconsciously we allow things into our lives – that is the only way anything can enter in and affect us in any way.
Thank you so much Julie for sharing your great thought provoking ideas (as always :)
Hi Evita,
I think I’ve been reading this one for the last full day!! Okay, that’s an exaggeration, however, it took me a while – I kept re-reading this, letting it really sink in.
I can relate to all three “D’s”. Doubt example: A couple of days ago at work – the day started off great. I was getting much done. I had a very positive outlook on life in general. And then, my calendar reminded me of a meeting I had in 15 minutes – with two people that can go over and over and over something – and then go over it some more — long meetings, with little accomplished. So, what did I do? I went into the meeting doubting very much that we would make any progress. And guess what, we didn’t! Was it because of my doubt? I am sure it, at least partly, was. Because I doubted we would have a successful meeting, I subconsciously didn’t give my best effort, wasn’t fully engaged, and in general didn’t contribute my share to the conversation. Because I “doubted” we’d have success anywya. Had I believed this would be a successful meeting – I’m sure I would have came out of the meeting with more and better information.
The LOA is not something I have specifically studied, however, the principles, as I know them – I do basically subscribe to. And I do see this as a powerful way to achieve that which we desire.
And I love your exmaple of comparing to God’s puppets. I couldn’t agree more – we are NOT puppets – we are here to have an amazing life! And I intend to!
Evita, this is just another wonderful post. It’s wonderful, because you’ve really taken the time to break down these three “D’s” that affect us all – and what the detrimental affects are. Withi real examples – what a powerful way to bring your point home.
Evita, you’re so right, and that’s what I try to do too, with everything that occurs in my day—search for the root. I find it’s never, ever the obvious. It’s always a matter of my own thinking. At least in my experience. Consciousness IS key. As Lance points out, it’s the habitual type of thinking that starts us on the wrong foot (which is what happened to me last week), and you are correct that remaining aware of this, remaining connected to our loving source at every moment, can give us the strength to make the correct choice of thinking/response/action.
Sometimes, that’s very difficult. In my case, it’s certainly because I’ve added so many things to my day that my quiet, connecting alone time first thing in the morning has suffered. I said I’d get back to my yoga and meditation, but it’s been in fits and starts—and it wasn’t done at all when I most needed it last week. So, I am my own worst enemy, here. ;) I’ve no one to blame but myself; although my week was greatly uncomfortable, it was a good lesson if this reminder of right living (and new resolve, again) is the outcome.
Lance, the Law of Attraction is, I think, a coined phrase for a new way to explain what’s been explained before. The very clearest explanation I’ve run across is from James Allen, in a tiny book that is immense in the wisdom it holds: “As A Man Thinketh.” There’s not a wasted, flowery word. Every sentence can stand alone in its power. I’m forever grateful to the person who gave me a copy. Here’s some information about Mr. Allen (which I didn’t know until I searched just now). And Amazon.com has his book for $6. Sorry, the link is very long; I hope it pastes well.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Attraction
http://jamesallen.wwwhubs.com/
http://www.amazon.com/As-Man-Thinketh-Original-Masterpiece/dp/1604500050/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_k2a_2_img?pf_rd_p=304485601&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-2&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=1889606006&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1S87FFGYJYZ7CQSEVQQN
Evita, I cannot tell you how much I value you. Your gentleness and love and wisdom surround me when I read your words (often moving me to calm tears of lovely emotion, as now—when I feel you loving self so strongly). Thank you is inadequate, but you know what I mean. I’ll renew my efforts for my own hour in the mornings. ;)
Hi Lance,
Thank you for adding great value with your personal example too.
If you go back and re-read what you wrote, you will right away see what your focus was “an unsuccessful meeting”. Indeed doubt is a powerful tool in making sure we get what we want. Notice I said get what we want.
In terms of the Law of Attraction, I have seen the movie The Secret and that is where it all started, then I read most of Jerry and Esther Hicks books that feature Abraham Hicks and that is where my understanding of how the universe and our lives work widened like you wouldn’t believe. All of a sudden everything clicked and I saw just how powerful creators we are of our own reality.
(I have yet to read the book Julie recommended, but I have heard of it and know that it is another valuable resource)
So if we may go back to your personal example, based on the LOA, we ALWAYS get that which we give most of our attention to (i.e. that which we focus on)Normally and logically humans should focus on what they want right? And then life would always be great and we would all be living blissful lives filled with everything we want. BUT we do not.
As human beings most of us focus the most on things we actually do not want. Well in terms of the LOA there is no such thing as a negative, whether you say “I want” or “I don’t” want you still get whatever you gave your attention to. This is where the real secret lies. Hence the goal is to be conscious of our thoughts, in order that we may only give attention and focus to that which we want and none of which we do not.
Is this hard or easy? Well that obviously depends on who you ask and how motivated the person is to change. Whatever the answer,what is always so is that for most it takes practice.
So Lance it may or may not be what you want to hear ;) but you demonstrated just what a powerful creator you really are. You focused on an unsatisfactory meeting and you got just that, in fact you had your thoughts, emotions and actions in it too, which makes it that much more powerful. That is why many people who say things like “I don’t buy this LOA stuff” or “I can’t be bothered to try it” do not realize that they are doing it already, every day of their lives – just not in the preferred direction.
Most important to note, is that there is nothing special to believe or do, when it comes to the LOA, it is just about becoming more conscious of one’s thoughts and giving more attention (if not all) to only things we like, please us, etc, and none that we do not. And ultimately this will only be as hard as WE DECIDE to make it :)
Thanks again for your input!
Hi again Julie,
Wow Julie thank you (again) – I know what you mean about these thank you’s ;) I have to say between you and Lance adding to this article – this has and is growing into a great lesson and more valuable resource for all! THANK YOU!
I read your words and I want to run over there and help, but I know we are all creators of our own reality and one of the other major universal laws is free will – we can never impose our will on someone else. So as much as perhaps I did not wish you had an unpleasant week – there is indeed a great positive here – you got a great lesson out of it and GROWTH and if that is the purpose it served than as you say Julie it could not have been any better or more meaningful.
This actually brings us into another aspect of the LOA – the expansion and alignment part. Everyday and every moment we have opportunities for expansion, when we are in alignment wiht them (ie. vibrating at same frwquencies) things seem to go great and when we are not we need to re-align and it is how quickly we re-align that holds great power. For the quicker we re-align, the less pain, stress, anxiety, etc we go through. And you seem to be a natural here, you pointed out exactly what or where things did not work for you and decided to take action and thought!
With that kind of powerful thinking Julie, I have no doubt you can create and take on anything!
Thanks for adding the resources too, especially the book, I definitely have to add it to my “to read” list!
And so Julie yes that alone time for you is so needed and so priceless – so I wish for you strong intentions to to make it happen and benefit from its wonderful effect!
Evita and Julie,
Thank you, both, for replying. Julie – I’ll look into the book you recommend. While I think I practice LOA by chance – the more I can learn, the better.
Evita – the idea of getting what we give our most attention to. This is powerful! It is, because it’s easy to give attention to the wrong things. And, where does that get us (me)? As I’m reading this – I’d be attracting exactly what I am giving the attention to (the wrong thing). I really think, overall – I do an okay job here – although it’s not because I’m actively thinking LOA. And, even to start – this sounds like something that would be easy to implement.
Is it what I want to hear Evita? YES! It is, because it makes much sense. Really, it’s what I need to hear right now, with many things (scary things – a good scary) going on – I really do need to focus my attention on that which I desire – and not on that which could go wrong…
Thank you, both of you – Evita and Julie! You are both a real source of light for me on this journey…
Some people also believe you must attract what you do not want in order to eventually attract what you do. It may seem like a round-about process, but as you think deeper, you will sense the relevance. Opposites attract when it comes to the poles of a magnet, for instance. You always get exactly what you need. A person’s awareness may need to catch up.
Very smart. I think that belief plus consistent effective action eventually bring you to whatever your goal or wish is. Notice how key the last part is:)
It isn’t dependent upon tome – it is dependent upon surety and patience and moving in the right direction.
Hi Aurora
Thank you for your comment :)
You brought up some great points about the consistency of our actions. Indeed, we need to be consistent in our thoughts, words and actions, if we are to manifest our desires.
Great article!
I’ve always found that observing my thoughts has been the best way to control my mind/ego from hindering my focus on what I want. The mind loses power in this process.
Hi Jerhume
Thank you so much for the feedback! And I totally agree, observing our thoughts is a great way to stay in the present and conscious state, and allows us for best results when it comes to personal manifestations.
Hi Evita, thanks for the great job of enlightening people about the magic of our minds. I have a question about witchcraft, does it hinder manifestations in any way or every failure of manifestation is just based on the three D`s? Thanks