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What does it really mean to be kind or exhibit kindness?
Many people in our society are very eager to classify themselves as kind, yet they do not regularly exhibit kindness. While others are uninterested in classifying themselves as kind, because they are too busy performing acts of kindness.
In a typical dictionary kindness is defined as “the quality of being warmhearted, considerate, humane and sympathetic“.
How many of us feel we exhibit THAT on a regular basis?
It seems so simple. It feels so good and yet the truth is that it too often does not happen enough or around the ones close and dear to us, let alone strangers.
I believe that one of the greatest steps to a higher state of being and our human evolution is the idea of empathy. Empathy evokes kindness and kindness changes lives.
Thus today let us examine the idea of kindness and see how we can become part of never ending acts of kindness for the world around us and ultimately ourselves.
Dissecting Kindness
“Kindness – The quality of being warmhearted, considerate, humane and sympathetic.”
Based on this definition, I imagine most people do not have a hard time being warmhearted, considerate or sympathetic at least some of the time.
Perhaps you were there for a friend when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps you gave someone just what they have been waiting their whole lives for. Or perhaps you have extended yourself to another, when it was least convenient for you.
But how about the humane part? This part of kindness speaks the loudest to me because as civilized as we think we are, want to be and perhaps should be, there are still so many acts happening today that cannot be called anything close to humane.
Be it the treatment of minority groups, animals, children, co-workers, friends or family members. The examples are too numerous to name and one need not look far or big, or go to an underdeveloped country to witness inhumane acts being done to them or around them. They are all around us. Perhaps what hurts the most too, is when they are done by people who classify themselves as “kind”, but have truly forgotten what that means.
Thus may we be inspired to live out kindness not as a state of mind, but as a state of being. And may we truly embrace kindness and live it out in its full potential at all times of our lives. It really isn’t as hard as many may think.
Personal Story
Over the Christmas holidays I had a chance to go on a trip to Cuba. I have been there several times before and I have to tell you I really enjoy their climate and culture. The people are some of the warmest and kindest that you will ever meet. They are also some of the poorest. Many of us cannot even imagine how these people live day to day.
Well the first few times that I went, when I was in my early 20’s and going more for the sun, music and dancing, the Cuban people really did not cross my mind much, if at all. Sure we heard that it is good to take some stuff, like toothpastes or old cosmetics and leave them for the maids, but that was really the extent of it.
It wasn’t until I went a few more times and got to know some of the people that I begin to see that there is more that I can be doing than just going down there for my own personal vacation, while they served on me hand and foot and went home to places we would not even call our sheds. Something just did not seem right with that picture any more.
Thus as much as I want to see many islands and different places in the world, when I went there last about 2 years ago I knew that I wanted to come back to Cuba at least one more time. This time I had a bigger mission. As much as I knew that I would still enjoy the sun, music and dancing, my other leading thought was the Cuban people.
It has for some time now been my dream to go, not with a suitcase full of my clothes for me to change 2 times a day, everyday, but with a suitcase full of stuff for THEM. Well this holiday season I got to realize that dream. I went with a suitcase overflowing with stuff and came back with it 1/3 full.
And as much as I have great memories of the beach and the sun, I have to tell you my most memorable day of this vacation was when we went off the resort and into town and randomly gave things away. The feeling was honestly pure bliss! The appreciation and the look on these people’s faces was something I will carry in my heart forever. My only wish is that I could do it more and it is that feeling that I want to keep throughout the year to see how I can do the same perhaps in my own area.
Although looking back now I wish I had given them even more, I am so grateful for the experience I had. It is funny you know, how the more you give, the more you realize you have to give – an amazing feeling nonetheless!
Your Actions
So, the holidays have just passed. This is usually the time when many of us can be the kindest we are all year. Yet at the same time, in so many ways, this can also be a time when many of us forget real kindness and apply a lot of pseudo-kindness to our lives.
For the most part, the holidays do seem to bring out the best in people. You may have found yourself or others humming or singing along merrily to Christmas carols. You may feel more cheerful as you anticipate the surprises you are planning or ones that may be coming your way. You may find yourself donating money or goods to different charities. You may do some volunteer work, etc.
As many people get wrapped up in joy, kindness seems to be so much easier to show and extend to others.
However at the same time, I am sure you may have had more people cut you off while driving, try to cut in front of you in line or get more frustrated with you at this time of the year than any other.
As many people get wrapped up in stress and “doing“, kindness seems to be so much harder to show and extend to others.
No matter what your own state was over the holidays, I hope that you take with you two messages which I hold very true and dear to my heart:
- You cannot imagine the impact each and every one of your words or actions has on others (no matter how insignificant you think they are) AND
- Kindness should not be a “season”, but a year round, life event that is our nature
I know so many of us often forget or perhaps do not even realize how our words and/or actions can affect others. Our words and actions have the power to sting or soothe, anger or overjoy, upset or calm another. The things you say to those around you can potentially mean the difference between a “good” day or a “bad” day. The things you do for those around you can potentially mean the difference between a moment full of happiness or one full of sadness. Ultimately it comes down to so much more than self-control, but as always it comes down to being conscious of ourselves.
Although each of us is in charge of ourselves and does not have to be affected by what another does or says, until the majority of the world attains such personal mastery, the truth is that many out there are VERY affected by another’s words and/or actions.
Thus parents and teachers, think of your children. Think of all the things that you say to them each day, which moments are they leading them to?
Spouses and partners, think of each other. Think of all the things that you say and do for each other each day, which moments are they quantifying for you?
Customers and consumers, think of all your service staff. Think of all the things that you say to them, what state are you leaving them in?
Ultimately one does not need to be labelled as anything, we each come across many people and species each day and we should all be conscious of the words and actions that the world is getting from us. I am sure you know how good it feels to be the recipient of an act of kindness and how much that puts you in a more motivated position to continue the effect – remember “Pay it forward?” That is exactly what we can be part of each day, and it is no coincidence when kindness keeps on coming right back to us.
As for time, as wonderful as it is that around the holidays we exhibit more kindness than perhaps at any other time, kindness should not be a holiday. Each and every single one of us would love to be treated with kindness each day.
If you held more doors for others during the holidays, hold even more doors open the rest of the year.
If you donated some of your time or money to various organizations during the holidays, do not forget that they exist all year.
If you were extra patient and loving with your family and friends during the holidays, be even nicer the rest of the year.
Kindness is within us. It should not take a break nor should its effects ever be forgotten.
Conclusion
We can all change the world, one person and one moment at a time and so I invite you to try to live out never ending acts of kindness in each and every day you live.
As my favorite quote goes, “be the change that you want to see in the world” by Gandhi.
There is always someone in need of a smile or a hello. There is always someone who would appreciate having a door open for them. There is always someone who just needs to be treated like a human being – looked at with love and compassion for the magnificent being that they are. And we are all magnificent – no matter what.
Enjoy living out never ending acts of kindness and feel free to share some of your own personal examples to inspire and motivate others to see the amazing world that they are living in!
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the main author of EvolvingBeings.com where she writes about spiritual and personal development. She hopes to inspire people, to truly live out the life of their dreams and awaken the highest version of themselves. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow Evita Ochel on Twitter.
11 Comments to “Never Ending Acts Of Kindness”
That was beautifully put, Evita.
Kindness often is on a holiday. We get caught up in the task of the moment, become impatient at interruptions, speak before thinking, do what we want without thinking first of the other…so many ways we aren’t kind.
And, as you say, our words can be the hardest of all. Even the most innocent remark can stab unintentionally! This, for me, was the most powerful part of your post:
Although each of us is in charge of ourselves and does not have to be affected by what another does or says, until the majority of the world attains such personal mastery, the truth is that many out there are VERY affected by another’s words and/or actions.
…because, personally, I know no one who has truly mastered the art of being unfazed or unaffected by anything another says or does. Our words—especially with the inflections, facial expressions, and delivery—carry SO much weight.
Your story of randomly giving away items was so touching. I could just see it—and the expressions on the recipients’ faces. What a wonderful gift for ALL of you, Evita!
Thank you for sharing that. Thank you.
~ Julie
Hello Julie,
Thank you and you are welcome!
It is interesting what you focused on, as when I was writing that part, it is a part of my life that I have to honestly tell you I have been working on and it has been getting easier and easier for me, but there are so many other factors to that too. Anyhow I also realize and it is complete truth as you say that mastering this completely is tough if not impossible for the average person. It is one thing at least for people who are involved in self-growth but yet another for the average person who has no interest in this whatsoever and does not even understand their amazing human potential.
Anyhow the bottom line is that our actions and words do carry a lot of weight and I think one big thing I would invite people to do in as part of this new year, is ask themselves in the form of personal reflections why they feel the need to say or do something that will be picked up as negative or hurtful to another, or if not possible before than reflect on it after the fact to try to see their own personal cycle or pattern and try to break it.
There really is no need for most of the stuff that comes out of so many of us. But I do not want to dwell more on that – let us think of all the wonderful things we can do to fill more moments with kindness such that there will be no more space for anything of the opposite nature.
Hi Evita,
I’m going to echo Julie – this is beautiful!
Kindness is so easy, and can also be so elusive. Is it because we get so caught up in our own lives, that we ignore those around us? And the thing is – how good, deep in your soul good, being kind feels! I really think that being kind is the way we were meant to be – we are designed to be kind souls. It just feels like when I’m at my kindest – that’s also when I feel most connected to my soul.
Your story of visiting Cuba and sharing with the people – what a wonderful thing to do Evita. It reminds me of some mission work we support going on in Haiti. And the stories of a grateful people are so moving. And really do tug at your heartstrings. So, hearing of your beautiful gifts of kindness – this evokes those same feelings. Your actions, Evita, have a lasting impact. On the people in Cuba. On you. On your readers here. On me. Today, you have truly reminded me of the real beauty of kindness.
You have given me more renewed hope in our world today, Evita. And you’ve given me a gift – kindness – that I’m going out to continue giving away to others I cross paths with!
You are a light in my world..
Hi Lance and thank you too!
You also hit on such a good point – we get too busy with life. But then this makes one think about the fact of what then is life about really?
Is it chasing jobs and paying off mortgages and driving kids around from one sport to the next while neglecting ourselves and others OR is it about attaining a balance of being for the larger reason that comes from our heart and spirit for self and others?
It really makes one think about what really is life all about? What are our priorities and why?
As for your mission work help for Haiti – that is wonderful to hear Lance! I know some of the schools in our area also help to build schools in Haiti and support orphanages. I have seen some of the videos of our students going down there and it is amazing to see what the human spirit can do – it is amazing how we really can move mountains in others lives by expanding our own love!
Lance – thank you for sharing your story and I am as always moved by your words deeply.
Welcome back!!! Thanks for dropping my site and letting me know that you are back in business!
Yes, it is true that many of us think of applying kindness to others like in an external way. We forget that kindness can be practiced to the ones around us. It’s really about our state of being. For one, I’m hoping to be more patient with my kids, even though it means having to repeat myself daily with them.
You’ve started the year with an inspiring post. Great!! I’m looking forward to reading more of your insights and experiences. Have an Awesome 2009!
Sincerely,
Evelyn
Hello Evelyn and thank you for your warm greeting!
I like how you said that it really does come down to being as that is what I have figured it out to be too. Consciousness and being that is. We have to be conscious of our actions and words first, which then puts us in whatever state of being we want – which are of course are usually the highest states of our existence.
I really like your idea too about your kids. I know some of us forget what it was like being a kid and being told “certain” things by our parents in “certain” ways – but I think when most of us really take ourselves back we can remember how some of the things they said or did made us feel – I am talking of course about those not so “happy” and “feel good” moments.
It is not about discipling or not discipling, just about being more conscious about what we say and more importantly why we say what we say.
So many times as parents we get caught up in this “parent” role that society has instilled in us of how to raise the “right” kids, when sometimes they just need another compassionate human being around them and what better person to be a kind compassionate human being to us then our parents.
Anyhow it is going to be a fantastic new year and I look forward to sharing our experiences :)
Evita, I truly appreciate your story about your recent trip Cuba. People I know have evolved to return there with bags of small bottles of shampoo and other luxuries so they can give them away. I also read about a Canadian program that raises money to send musical instruments to Cuba. I also read about a similar UK program yo ucan read about here: http://www.justgiving.com/tamsinwarren
In my own life, I share your interest in giving the intangible. For example, one of my dreams has been to experience Peru. I will be realizing that in 2009 and giving of myself to a local community as part of spiritual endeavours. As you say, we have choices about how to spend our time, exert our energy. We can share what we have materially and of ourselves in ways that cannot be measured.
Wonderful article, Evita.
Thank you for the kindness that your are exercising in our collective experience.
Blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG
@Liara – Thank you for the link! It is quite remarkable but at the same time so natural to hear of humans helping other humans. It is through people who we feel need our help, that we can express our highest selves and experience ourselves as kind, loving, compassionate, generous, etc.
It is one thing to say it, yet quite another to feel it.
Your trip to Peru sounds wonderful. I know it will hold lots of growth opportunities for you to experience yourself as perhaps you never had before. And I like too that you mention the intangible, as that is sometimes, in fact most times more valuable to give to another than a material item.
@CG WALTERS – Thank you CG and thank you for your visit!
Personal actions do lead to global results – I truly believe that, as I know that our collective consciousness can shift immensely towards the more enlightened way through the “good” acts of a few much more than be upset through the “bad” acts of many.
I agree completely with the article. I think that the problem is, is that people are being raised selfishly. And I don’t really mean that in a bad way. We are raised to think selfishly, because we are taught that career success is the most imporant thing that a person can accomplish.
I believe in the concept of spreading good if you want good to return to you. We create our own realities. True, there’s no numbered list of every good thing you do, and a “pending” good thing coming your way for every act of kindess you perform. However, people will remember the kindness, or lack thereof, that you exhibit. And when people are in a position to help you out, they will remember how you made them feel in the past.
Selfishness is a natural thing for the human race, but I think that using it in a way to better the world is a noble goal.
Having worked in retail, I do my best to be extra nice to people in customer service – cashiers, waiters, etc. Yes, sometimes they seem rude or uncaring, but chances are, it has more to do with the way they have been treated all day by other customers than just having a mean personality.
~ Kristi