Out of all the things that we as humans can learn, master and move beyond, I think “expectations “have to be one of the hardest. I would even go as far as say that I think it is easier to master forgiveness than letting go of expectations.
The way our world, society and lives are set up, one can almost not escape coming into contact with hundreds of expectations each day. We expect things of our job settings, co-workers, family members, friends, transit systems, stores, and the list goes on and on.
And thus I think one of the most challenging things to transcend beyond, in the journey towards enlightenment is the idea of letting go of all expectations. While some people think this is impossible and cannot fathom such a way of being, many enlightened masters who are here now or have come before us, saw this as nothing more than bringing into consciousness, yet another aspect of the inner being.
Thus today, I want to explore some of the challenges of expectations and helpful ways of moving beyond them and learning to free yourself from their clutches.
What Are Expectations?
Whenever we attach an emotionally charged response to any item, situation or person based on their actions or outcomes, we are exercising the idea of expectations.
A very important idea to understand though before we go any further is that expectations are not the same as intentions. For example, we are actually engaged in two different modes of being when we say “I expect to get into college” versus “I intend to get into college.”
The former can lead to disappointment, anger, ill feelings, etc., while the latter (if it is an honest intention) leads to positive actions and accountability.
Next, another way to distinguish between the two, is that expectations are usually born out of our unconsciousness, where as intentions come from a conscious state of being.
A lot of people go through life expecting all sorts of things from others and life itself in general, but actually doing very little in terms of their own actions and accountability for what they want or need. Whenever we are stuck in the mode of expectation, we are putting the onus on the third party, instead of ourselves. This of course is normal, natural and the only way that “it is” for many, but from a deeper perspective not the way it necessarily should be in a way that serves us. I once heard a great quote, which at the moment I cannot remember where it came from that said, “just because things are the way they are, doesn’t mean that’s the way they should be.”
Is There Life Beyond Expectations?
The short and quick answer is yes! When we start dropping the expectations we hold over other people and ourselves, all of a sudden it is like a huge burden is lifted from our shoulders. We are freer, we are happier, we are livelier, we are much, much more forgiving, we are more in control of our life and ultimately have a higher quality of life than many could imagine.
Not having expectations, does not mean that you lose your ambition or that you lose your will for life. No, no, on the contrary you free yourself and become even more wilful to live and enjoy life. It also does not mean that you are cold, selfish or uncaring as some may see this as, in the initial onset. You are actually loving and caring for people deeper, because you do it more unconditionally. Of course this is a challenge in itself for people, but one that I highly recommend undertaking.
Finally, while it may not be feasible to overcome expectations 100% given our way of life and how deeply involved in society you are, my hope is that if this peaks your interest, if you are ready for your next level of growth, you do not dismiss it as unrealistic or impossible. Remember in our last post, nothing is impossible and everything is possible. We just have to have the belief and will within.
Overcoming Expectations
I have personally been very aware of expectations in general and how we use them, ever since I read material from Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham Hicks and Wayne Dyer. All of a sudden I had the “aha” moments, I saw the “light” and I was inspired to live a new way. Well upon trying it, I have to say, wow – what an amazing way to live, pure freedom for the inner being and soul! Obviously it did not come overnight and I am still learning, practising and growing in truly applying this to every level.
The one area that I am proud to say that I feel I have mastered this quite well, I would almost say exceptionally well, is with my husband, in that we do not have or place expectations upon each other in our relationship. While some of you at this point may be shaking your head either from disbelief or scepticism, how anyone in their right mind can be together, let alone married and not have expectations of each other, I assure you it is very much possible. It works when we understand the deeper concepts of unconditional love, living in the moment of now, living a true unity and plain and simple living consciously. It works so well in fact, that I guarantee you a better quality of life and relationships, when you try it yourself.
Someone might think, but don’t you expect him to do stuff around the house and vice-versa? The answer is no. When you act consciously, out of your highest self, you always know what to do. Someone else does not need to tell you what to do, when to do it and how to do it. We all have to be able to express ourselves freely, in order not to suppress our spirit, and who better to do that with than your spouse/partner. And what if say one of us doesn’t want to for whatever reason do something, whether around the house or other. Well guess what, the world does not stop turning and that is okay, because ultimately we are in this together, as a unity, which makes us become very in sync and at the same time very understanding. You just have to leave your ego out of it.
It works on the small stuff and it works on the big stuff, because a relationship should bring out your best, not your worst, should make you grow, not shrink and should be freeing, not limiting.
So having said that, I have been quite successful at applying this to other family members, friends and co-workers, in no way expecting them to treat me the same way, just me freeing myself and them from the expectations I hold. Some of them of course do not believe that I really do not expect anything of them when they find out, because they themselves cannot get past expecting things from others. But ultimately this is fine, and in no way hinders me and my growth. I cannot change that for them, until they decide to change it for themselves.
However there has been one area of expectations that has always seemed to keep me on my toes, almost as if to give me a test to bring me to the next level and to make sure I guess, that I do not become too complacent and too sure that I got it all. What is that thing? Expectations in society. Let me tell you what I mean in the next section with a personal example.
Challenges of Societal Expectations
When we go to the gas station, we expect there to be gas. When we water our lawn, we expect it to grow. When we buy a new item, we expect it to work. So leaving self, family and friends out of this, do you see what I mean – you know the daily tasks of every day living in society.
So what happens and how do you act when your “expectations” are not met? I think the answer is obvious for most of us, somewhere in between disappointment, frustration and anger. And while many of us think this is completely normal, if we look at this from a deeper spiritual and self-growth perspective we can quickly see that while it may be “socially normal”, it is not in any way “natural” for our inner being. By reacting in these ways, we are only bringing negative states of grief, sadness, anger and much more to ourselves. And remembering how the Law of Attraction works, this in no way sets us up for positive creations or interactions.
Okay, so allow me to share a personal example from just this past weekend that gave me an amazing lesson and area for growth where the challenges of expectations are concerned.
On a local web classified page, kind of like Craig’s list, I found a furniture item that I was interested in purchasing. In fact I consciously intended to find this exact item, for a couple of weeks and so was thrilled when I saw the poster’s ad. The picture was included, as the original from the store it was purchased at and based on the ad write-up, it was the exact thing I wanted. Perfect I thought and so I set up the sale, to go and purchase it, including getting appropriate transportation to fit this item. I made sure over the phone that the item was not damaged and not for a second did it occur to me to verify every detail of the item to make sure I was getting what I “expected”. It was a simple bookcase after all, who would lie about that?
Well when I arrived at the seller’s place, I was a bit thrown back to put it mildly. The item was not what I expected, nor was it the item that the picture was of on the ad. Had I known at the moment that it was not even part of the series I was looking for I would not have bothered, but I just thought that it was a smaller version of the bookcases in this particular series. Had it also not been for the fact that I arranged special transportation for it, I also would not have gotten it. So I agreed to buy it at a slightly lower cost. It wasn’t until I got home and compared it to the other bookcases I have in that series, that I realized that this was not at all the item that it was advertised as or in any way part of the series I wanted. Ouch!
I have to tell you, in the grand scheme of things it is just a simple bookcase and not a whole lot of money or anything, but the feeling of having your expectation crushed was something else. I don’t think it was so much the expectation even, as the idea of well, plain and simple being deceived. I can tell you my ego was not happy. I thought I could handle it, I thought I could just let it go, but my ego had other plans.
I expected a certain item. My expectation turned out to be wrong, now what? I have to tell you I refuse to get cynical and not trust anyone or anything. Living like that would be painful. But I just couldn’t understand why or how anyone would do something like this over a silly bookcase. I can understand a hundred or thousand dollar item, sure, we hear of major deceptions and scams all the time, but this?
So anyhow, I thought that I need to let this person know how I felt. I wanted to write them an email, for the sake of justice, and explain this situation, so this would not happen to anyone else. Yeah, well that is what I told myself and I really thought I was right – that it was the right thing to do. But when we try to wrong another, is it not just the ego within speaking?
Hence, after a really nice talk from my husband, I realized fair and square – whatever this person did or didn’t do, it was my expectation that fueled this entire event to become as unpleasant for me as it did. In my husband’s eyes, we got an even better bookcase than the other one would have been – God I love that man! Did it have to be that way, no. Could I have asked more questions before I arranged the sale? Could I have gone with my intuition and refused the item when I got there? Could I have accepted the new item as a blessing in disguise? Of course! I could have done so many other things before, during and after. I had choices at every stage. We always, all do.
The point of this learning exercise was clear and simple – the situation was not “bad” or “good”, it just “was”. I could have reacted in many different ways, but I chose to give it the meaning I did, a meaning that was heavily fueled by the ego that got scarred. And that is the key problem that happens to so many of us daily when things don’t go our way.
We always have a choice in how we react, we always have the option of taking full and conscious accountability for a situation, but it is just too easy to blame the other person and see ourselves as the victim. So needless to say, the email did not get written, my ego has since become silenced and I am enjoying our new bookcase.
Conclusion
In the end, the challenges that come with expectations are as diverse as the snowflakes out there. We are bombarded with numerous things each day that require of us to “expect” and “place the responsibility” on the other person OR intend consciously and place the responsibility upon ourselves. In the short term, the former of course is much easier and more comfortable for many of us to do. But in the long run, when we step back, look deeper, it is not the option that serves our growth, our soul evolution or our inner being.
Ultimately, it is not rocket science that having broken expectations does not feel good, but it is only because we chose to give our “power/control” to the other person and we feel wronged. Well actually, it is only our ego that feels wronged.
It is not about the fact, of never being able to trust others, but when we do trust others, may we understand that they are human beings, free to do, be and create as they choose. And what is the right thing to do, for one person, may not be the right thing for another. Hence, we have to understand that we can expect and we can trust, but if things do not go our way, it is only the ego that got bruised, as our soul knows better not to judge or limit any other being from being, doing or expressing themselves in any way they want.
*Photograph provided by striatic
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the founder and editor of EvolvingBeings.com – an online publication featuring various topics on spirituality and metaphysics. Evita teaches consciousness expansion and heart-centered living to help people attain deep meaning, peace and happiness in their life. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow her on Twitter.
30 Comments to “The Challenges of Expectations”
A very interesting and enlightening article. This is something I will think about in the future. In a way I have already incorporated it into my life and it has helped a great deal. But it’s good to be more conscious of it on a daily basis too.
I love the website. Where did you find this theme? It’s lovely.
Hi Evita,
This is a wonderful post. It is, because expectations are such a part of our life, it seems. I commend you and your husband on how well you’ve done at getting beyond expectations – in truth, I’m not that far along yet. I do believe I/we are headed well down that road, yet it’s also easy for me to find very recent examples of expectations. I think a real key is being able to trust that the other person, especially a spouse/significant other, has the best interest in hand.
On societal expectations – I have a story I’d like to share. A couple of years ago, we went out to eat – our whole family. Two people had a special where you pick two entree’s to share. When the order came, one of these entree’s was wrong – and it was obvious to everyone involved – workers and us. We could have “expected” the right meal (and maybe we did), and even beyond that – we could have expected something in return for the error. However, we went into this pretty much expectation-free. So, no expectations. Of being reimbursed for the meal. Etc. And it was very much a good feeling – in what could have been by many a bad situation. In the end, the restaurant did give us the meal free, half off the rest of our bill, and free desserts for everyone. I wonder, had we “expected” something – and put up a fight to get what we thought we deserved – would we have been given as much as we were given? I’ll never know. What I do know, though, was how really just good it felt, in that moment, to not feel like we were “owed” something.
So, Evita, I do love this post. I love it because I’ve witnessed firsthand what a wonderful gift it is to be able to let go of expectations. Do I always do it? No. I have lots of work I can do yet. However, I think I’m in a much better place than I was even just a few short years ago. And it feels good and right…
@ DAVID – Hi David! What a pleasant surprise to see you here!
I am so glad that you enjoyed the article and yes, it really helps so much to be conscious of all these little things each day, as they add up to really big things before we know it and some people feel like their lives are out of control.
As for the theme, thank you, it is compliments of my husband actually, he designs all the themes for our sites.
@ LANCE – Hello Lance and thank you, as always you have included such a thoughtful addition to this article.
When it comes to relationships, you “hit the nail on the head” if I may say, when you said it comes down to “trusting” that the other person has your best interest at heart.
Many people get together and they trust each other, or so they say, but too often they question the other person’s thoughts, actions, motives, etc. I am not judging here, but that does not seem to be a “unity” to me, if when things are good it’s all great, but when things aren’t so good, it’s each man for him or herself. It is just a playground for the egos at that point.
But when we trust the other, we have to realize too that at any moment they can change, and if they do not communicate that change with us, we may be caught off guard by something they say or do, then it is back to square one… “but I expected that they would…”
And I love that last idea you included about being “owed” stuff. That is I think another key idea of why we get so bent out of shape when our expectations fall through, because we feel wronged and while our spirit does not see it that way, our ego loves playing the victim card.
So thanks again for the story – I am glad you guys had such a nice dinner :)
Hi there!
I try not to believe in expectations anymore as it as hurt me in the past. I just go by with whatever happens, happens; I hope I’m just prepared for it. After all, there’s probably a solution to every thing. So that’s probably the reason why I enjoy life more like you said in your post. It’s not that I care. I care so much that I even forget to care for myself but for others instead.
This is a really great post, my Father needs to come to his senses by expecting a lot from me.
It’s really great that you have a relationship like that with your husband, maybe that’s why you live a pretty happy life.
Much Love,
@ HALFCRAZY – Hi and thank you for stopping by Evolving Beings and sharing your thoughts!
I can relate to your feelings. I think some of us just hit the point of “enough” and snap into a new way of thinking when we suffer enough. The difference is that each person has that different “breaking point” of how much suffering is enough and that is why different people “wake up” at different times and intensities whether in this life or any of the others they have or will live.
It never feels good when we feel the weight of another’s expectations on us, but ultimately whether we want to hear this or not, it is not about them but about us. In the loving beings that we are, we should allow each soul to be who and how they want. If we want a relationship with that soul then we must find ways to find inner peace in how to live with them and distance ourselves or not allow their “reality” or even “beliefs” to become our own. Otherwise in your life you may find people that you cannot coexist with at all, as they take too much out of you and you are always trying to be someone you are not for them. It does not mean that these relationships have to end bad, they usually simply only need some distance, so that our being is not suffocating under someone else’s cloak.
Thank you so much for your input and I know that I am blessed with the life I have. But it was not always like this, and this is what I want to share with others and invite them to see. No matter how “bad” an area of your life is, there is always room for growth, for change and for evolution to rise up to the highest versions of ourselves at any moment and live blissfully. There really is no reason why we should not have Heaven on Earth. It is only us that put the limitation on ourselves that it can’t exist here, but why not….
To transcend expectations is to rediscover what else exists. Human beings have free will, but they often forget to use it beyond what becomes routine. To focus anywhere but in the present is to miss the gist of what is. That is one’s reason for being now.
You have done an excellent job with this article. You have clearly stated the significance of the difference between expectations and intentions. This should be read and practiced by all! Love how you have written this!
A very well-articulated post, Evita! You’ve done terrific justice to the topic. I agree that expectations permeate our thoughts at all levels and letting them go is extremely hard—-and SO very rewarding! And, like you and Lance, I still have a little work on this.
A month or so ago, after much discussion and agreement on what type of furniture my husband and I wanted for a particular room, he came home one day with a spur-of-the-moment purchase that just happened to be what he originally had wanted. I wasn’t happy. But it truly was, ultimately the better choice; I can clearly see that, now. What we’d agreed upon wouldn’t have worked nearly as well!
The underlying lesson is that peace is far more important than our egos. Letting go of expectations is one way toward peace. :)
@ LIARA – Beautifully said as always, with a light air of wisdom and truth!
We do forget to use our free will a lot don’t we? How many times do we hear people say “but I have to…” or “I had no choice…”
Indeed there is always this moment and there is always the power of choice within our free will.
@ MARK – Thank you so much Mark – I really appreciate your input and it was so beautifully said by you!
@ JULIE – Thank you as always Julie :)
That is the best part I feel about this or any other topic, that it always pushes us (if we want that is) to new growth. We have the choice to change in every moment, but we have to be present to the moment and conscious of the choice in order to take advantage of that.
That is why I do want to keep practising and keep getting better at mastering this or any other part that can better my life and the lives of those around me even more and that is why I LOVE the journey of life!!!!
And yes, peace here of course meaning (just so others don’t misunderstand) not withholding our truth just for the sake of avoiding a confrontation, but going within to spirit where we always find the bigger meaning, the answers and the peace that makes us realize that everything is exactly how it is meant to be when we don’t resist with our egos!
Thank you so much Julie!!!
Thank you for clarifying “peace,” Evita. You, of course, knew what I meant and said it so eloquently, as always! :)
The Site Looks AWESOME!
The following two statements, I love – and think I will print out. Not quite sure why but in my own life, I am struggling at this point, with the expectations that people have put on me.. your article came in a timely fashion, I just need to absorb it now.
Whenever we attach an emotionally charged response to any item, situation or person based on their actions or outcomes, we are exercising the idea of expectations.
A lot of people go through life expecting all sorts of things from others and life itself in general, but actually doing very little in terms of their own actions and accountability for what they want or need.
@ SUSIE – Oh thank you so much for the feedback Susie!!! I am very excited about it to say the least :)
I am so glad that the words in this article speak to you. May you find the inner peace and happiness that is always yours!
Expectations seem to be such a big part of our lives, and yet if we are conscious when we deal with ourselves and others, we can detach ourselves from them and not have our happiness or lack thereof depend on them.
Thanks again Susie!
Hi Evita,
The topic of expectations is timeless. Your perspective invites readers to self-reflect and recognize they always have the power to change from inside.
@ LIARA – Thank you Liara – we indeed do have the power to change, we just have to be open to it.
Evita, your perspectives are indeed refreshing. You invite readers to decide if they believe in expectations and reasons why they perpetuate them or, to move to that mental place where expectations dissolve and emptiness is all there is. Many stages exist in between and are worth exploring for the lessons they offer.
Thanks for this. It sounds like expecting something from another person, as you put it here, is a sense that “I will only appreciate or love them if they do this, and if they don’t I will not.” And that perspective, as you point out, actually creates suffering for the person doing the expecting.
Great article. Thought about this weekend when I was expecting two people to call me and they didn’t. I was disappointed, but hey life goes on. It’s not that important.
Thanks
@ CHRIS – Hi Chris and it is my pleasure. I like how you summarized your viewpoint. I know I have been there myself (as I wrote too) as many of us have and will continue to be. That is why if we can become mindful of this and look at the person/situation brand new, we really free ourselves from suffering.
@ OMAR – Thank you Omar! I am glad you were able to see another perspective where expectations are concerned. You can choose to be sad, angry, disappointed, etc, but in the end you are only hurting yourself.
So yes in the end life does go on, the only question remains “how are we going to move through it?” Are we going to let external factors limit us, or are we going to use them as markers to remind us of how we can raise ourselves to our highest potential yet.
To recognize you create and harbour expectations empowers you to accept or react that state of mind. You have free will.
its amazing at how precise and true this article is i took from this a realized the only way to truly feel and express unconditional love was through not expecting from your partner it makes it that much more beautiful. i remeber wen i met my first love and how i charmed here and how i expected nothing and thats wat made every reaction much more special and wen we were together working as a team without expecting it just made it seem right. but wen i started expecting that love of course it was that much mroe disappointing wen it was over. and wow i think i just had a revelation lol realizing that i didnt put much into it because i expected it already well just another lesson uve taught me evita besides that from school. thank you for all these inspring articles i trulyhope all of humanity can achieve all that leaves us to love everyone uncondionally
@ ANONYMOUS – Hi and I am so happy to hear that this article really “spoke” to you.
Unconditional love is a funny thing. We have religions and parents and others who preach about it, but fall very short on actually showing it or living it. Unconditional means that we will love that person no matter what.
See now a lot of people have a hard time with that one. How can I love someone if they do x, y or z to me?
What many people do not understand is that unconditional love does not mean you have to be with the person. If someone does something which does not add in a positive way to your being, then by all means you should remove yourself from the situation. However, nothing says you cannot still “love” that person or at least not think of them in negative ways. We may not agree with what actions a person is doing here in the physical, but their spiritual self is pure love, as is ours. How can we not love that?
And you are right, a lot of things get “ruined” when we start expecting the other person to “do” something or “be” a certain way. Love the person because you do, not because of what they can offer you. Let them be themselves and allow you to be yourself and see what transpires. This usually gets easier as we grow up, but I still know a lot of adults, ones even in marriages who are not themselves with their partner or allow the other to be themselves, or let expectations ruin a good and beautiful thing.
You are so welcome for this and anything else that you found on this site that helps – my vision is for a world that is truly capable of unconditional love and I know that is not unrealistic, given that at our core – we are love.
Hi Evita! This post was simply wonderful!!! Like you, I have had a great deal of time to absorb Walsh, Dyer and many others. It’s all good medicine for the soul! This is such a huge topic too! Thanks so much for sharing about your relationship with your husband – and your bookcase story as well! Yes, I agree, it is quite possible to have a marriage with no expectations. Hubs and I took a few months to read Eckhart Tolle together. After 30 years together, it was most refreshing and allowed us to RE-commit on many levels. Might there be a fine line between ASSUMPTIONS and expectations? I sense a distinct difference and both are so much a part of us. I think of assumptions as lazy un-thinking kind of expectations.
I only wish someone had told me when I was “expecting” a baby that that should be the LAST of my expectations with this little spirit. It would have made parenting less stressful!
Great post! Lots to think about here – thanks again for all your sharing, it’s wonderful!
hugs
suZen
@ SUZEN – Thank you so much Suzen for your thoughts and feedback. What a great addition you have left here!
That is awesome to hear – me and Markus read A New Eath together too and it was transformational for us too! Today I really encourage couples to go through new material together, it definitely helps both grow in the same direction, rather than one person this way and another that way….
And yes I think there is something more to talk about definitely when it comes to “assumptions” and “expectations”. As conscious as I try to be to live without expectations, I have to say, it is a challenge indeed. They seem to be all around us in society. At least like you I am happy they are pretty much non existent in my relationship.
LOL – I will keep that in mind if I have any babies – thank you Suzen :)
I am really envious about all the comments! Both you and Robin do so well in this regard. But I’m sure I get exactly what I deserve! Fortunately, that includes both of you. And perhaps this is all I can handle?
@ DAVID – It varies David and especially between each of the three sites. And one thing I have learned so far is definitely never to judge the success of a site by the number of comments it gets. Sure more comments can mean something better, but not necessarily.
So my advice is always to do what you do for you, love it, own it and expect nothing. I am not a pro at this yet, but I learn as I go, and feel blessed to be able to share that with you.
So thank you for giving me that opportunity.
Evita — WOW…this is one powerful post. Boy, do I have need to work on expectations. As a believer that you get life lessons given to you. I think learning to deal with my ego and the “expectations” it continues to whisper in my ears is DEFINITELY one of my lessons in life.
It also lands at a perfect time for me. I just went to Blogging without a Blog and Barbara has this site you go to to calculate the worth of your blog. The people before me had done it and come up with pretty large estimates, such as $10,000 and higher for some.
Mine was $2,822.70. Now, I had a choice. I could choose to get upset because my ego expected this value to more or I could look at the value I get from my site that’s goes beyond monetary? It’s a choice of what’s really important to me?
So, I told my ego to go jump in the lake today and I’m proud of it. I wasn’t going to feel badly about this. To me, my blog is priceless — I get to follow my passion to write as well enjoy my regular visitors and the wonderful blogging community I’m in. I liked making this choice and when I did, the ego stuff evaporated.
However, as this is a life lesson for me, I’m sure I’ll still be working on expectation in the future, but I thank you for reminding me that we do choices on how we respond and what we expect:~)
@ SARA – Thank you Sara for your feedback – I am glad it was thought provoking for you – I know I learned a lot from this experience in my own life… and still am. I really try to not set expectations now to many things, I know that in our society there are some things that are “naturally expected” and that is part of this lesson too, how are we going to deal with them…
As for that site, I haven’t had a chance to read Barbara’s article yet, but I have heard of that site or sites like that before. I think I checked mine too, but don’t remember at this time what the amount was.
What I can tell you Sara is 2 things –
1. Are you or me or most of the people out there planning to sell their site this very minute or in fact is that why they are blogging, as a means to just make a quick sell and that is it? I understand that most of us do want to make some money from our blogs, but I personally think there is much more reward from holding onto them and making money than selling them. For some of us, our blogs are our voice, not someone else’s.
And
2. Comparing how much mine is worth vs yours accomplishes nothing the way I see it. So what if mine is worth less or more than yours. Does that make me or my content better or worse?
All of this is so relative and as we grow spiritually, we learn to disconnect from these limiting and comparative paradigms. In the end and always the race, any race or the journey as some like to see it, is only with ourselves and against ourselves.
So yes, I love your thinking telling “your ego to jump in the lake” – LOL – when we disconnect from our egos we realize we are the all, and need no comparison to anything else. And yes your blog is priceless and offers the world something so unique that no other blog can. You know why? Because it comes from Sara and there is only one unique you out there.
In the end, this is indeed an area of our lives that I think requires constant growth through conscious living.
“The point of this learning exercise was clear and simple – the situation was not ‘bad’ or ‘good’, it just ‘was.’”
Here you’re talking about not coming from a place of ego-reactivity involving deception about a bookcase. Years ago I first read Thich Nhat Hahn – his The Miracle of Mindfulness. There was a passage which, at the time, I found completely mind boggling. In it, the author expresses equal compassion for both a rapist and his victim.
I have to say that at times I still find that one a tall order – not to come from a reactive mindset in relation to the worst sorts of things people do. But I now definitely know the place Hahn was coming from, and now it’s mainly where I come from too.
@ PAUL – Hi Paul thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I am not sure where I heard that idea that you share about feeling the same for the rapist as the victim.
And as you point out, it is a harder place to come from given our thoughts and ideas that are programmed into us by society.
It is beautiful to hear that you have moved more into this space. I too no longer judge even things like weather extremes or world events as bad or good – they simply are. Given this though, I still recognize that there are actions in this world that are more “serving” – i.e. come more from love than fear, greed or what not.
I really needed this today, thanks! :D