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There have been many times in my life where I have been blessed by an act of kindness, compassion or extreme thoughtfulness. Whether it is a meaningful gift, word or act we receive, sometimes saying “thank you” just does not seem to cut it.
Think of yourself and how many times perhaps you were so overcome with emotion towards a person or people, who went out of their way to tell you how much you mean to them.
Think of all those times where you received some gift that showed you that someone out there listens to you and cares for you deeply.
Think of the times where someone said something to you, which was said at the perfect moment you needed it and made all the difference in your life.
How do you say thank you? How do you show your gratitude for these gifts, words or moments that have meant more to you than perhaps anyone will ever know?
Thus in this article, we will examine just that – what to do when words like “thank you” are not enough.
A Group of Amazing Young Souls
As I am in the stages of saying a lot of goodbyes at my job, I have been overwhelmed in the past couple of weeks with an immense amount of kind words and even gifts. For those of you who are not familiar with my journey, I have been working at the same high school for the past 7 years and in 1 week will be walking away from this position permanently to pursue my dreams and passions of writing and public speaking.
During these past 7 years, I have had the privilege of working with over 1000 students. Most people know, that as a teacher especially in high school, many of us never know what impact we are making on the students, unless perhaps at some point down the road, we run into one of them somewhere and then find out that perhaps the job or path they chose was because of something we said or did. Or how a certain word or concept resonated with them and perhaps changed their life in some way. Most teens are simply not about feedback, at least not in the present moment.
So when during my career, a student would come up to me and tell me how I was changing or had changed their life – it was beyond humbling. To know right then and there that what you were doing was making a difference to someone was huge!
Well I have to tell you, I feel that I have been more than blessed with teaching the most amazing students any teacher could ever ask for. Year after year and semester after semester, I would meet a new group of students that I have no doubt touched my life perhaps just as much as I was able to touch theirs.
There were the “aha” moments, there were joyful and fun moments, there were the laugh-out-loud moments, as well as the tougher life lesson moments. All of these I keep in my heart, and I have come to know that many of them do as well.
So although my work with all these young souls, and I only call them young from a physical perspective for spiritually many of them are old and wise souls, has come to an end – I will always treasure what I learned from them and what I was able to teach them.
The climax to all this came in the past 2 weeks, as many students from all 3 of the classes that I currently taught, shared with me at one point or another how I impacted or changed their life. The stories were tearjerkers to say the least, and by some miracle I held myself together without any tears. There was also a year-end assembly for the whole school, where one student spoke about me and my impact on the school and students I have taught. There were a few individual and group gifts, all of which were more meaningful than I could have ever expected. There were smiles, words and hugs and so many thank yous and good byes. Just writing about this now, makes my eyes water for the emotion that was invoked within me.
And now comes the question – how do you say thank you enough? No amount of thank yous seemed to be enough for me to express to them. These young souls that often get so short-changed in our society, that often get poor reputations for how they are or how they are not, came forth and showed more love, kindness and compassion than perhaps some adults are capable of.
I took in every word, every action and knew that no words in the world could ever describe to them how I felt, or what their words and actions have meant to me.
Amazing Individuals In The World Wide Web
A similar example as the one above, has been with me pretty much since I started blogging. Every so often I get a comment, email or some other feedback with some amazingly kind, beautiful or thoughtful words of how meaningful something I wrote was, or how it perhaps even changed someone’s life. Over the last year, people who I have never met in my life have gone out of their way at one point or another to tell me how something I said, that perhaps was small and natural to me, but which was big and meaningful to them, impacted their life. Many of these comments left me truly speechless.
So many times I have said thank you to express my gratitude and so many times, it just did not seem like enough. Did the people who sent these comments my way know just how much they meant to me? Did they realize what an amazing act of kindness or gesture of love they have passed onto me? I wasn’t sure to tell you the truth, but deep within I hoped that they did.
You know there are still so many people in this world, who think that the world is negative and all the people are rotten in one way or another, but I just don’t see that. What I see and what makes up MY world is an amazing abundance of the kindest souls, who are thoughtful and loving not because they want something in return, but simply because they are.
Many of you who are reading this have been many of those souls that have touched my life deeply and although I have said thank you many times before, and will continue to in the future, those two words will never capture what I truly feel.
Sometimes people say or think that there is only so many nice things that one can say or do, or so many thank you’s that are meaningful. But I heave learned enough to beg to differ. So what if you keep impacting someone’s life and they keep being grateful or vice-versa. Kindness and love never go out of style, and personally I think these are to our souls, as oxygen is to our lungs. So may you never take the gratitude others offer you or beautiful acts or words you offer them for granted. I know I won’t.
Beyond Thank You’s
As many of you, I too have come through many of these moments, in the past few years especially, and although I said the thank you’s and although I tried to make sure the person knew how much it meant to me, I learned one other thing along the way. And that is that we have to learn to allow.
When someone is kind to you or flatters you in some way, some of us really don’t know how to accept it. And worse yet, some of us really get uncomfortable being that center of attention. While some people think that this is the humble thing to do, I have realized that we may actually be doing more harm than good acting that way.
Here is what I mean: Imagine someone takes you out to dinner and surprises you at the end by wanting to pay for you as a thank you gesture of some kind. Some of us will kindly accept and say thank you, but others will bicker back and forth that no that is not necessary, etc. But do you realize that when that person offers a gesture of kindness they are not only doing it for you, they are also doing it for themselves?
That is right. When we negate someone’s good words or actions towards us we can actually be ruining the experience for them. As souls we all want to express ourselves as who we truly are. So for me to know I am kind, I have to do an act of kindness. For me to know myself as loving, I have to do a loving act. For it is one thing to go around saying “I am kind”, but quite another to know it experientially.
And when some of us think that it is the humble thing to do to say things like, “oh you shouldn’t have” and “no, that is not necessary” or “I cannot accept this or that”, we might actually be making the situation all about us. It is funny but if we are not careful, we can actually end up robbing them from their experience. When people thank us in some way – it actually is not just about us. It is about them being blessed to have the opportunity and to be able to express who they are too.
So what have I learned from all this that I want to share and pass along to you? That when someone acknowledges you, for whatever reason in some kind way, say your thank you’s, be grateful and humble, but also be conscious and allow them to have their experience.
While being humble is one thing, be careful not to turn a beautiful experience into a negated action. And so with consciousness allow – allow the other to express who they are and what they stand for, as that might be the best and most meaningful thank you, you could ever give them!
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Now think of yourself. Is there anyone you want to thank deeply that at some point in your life made a huge difference to you? Who did you not know perhaps how to thank enough for what they did to you or for you? How did you handle the situation? Did you allow them to have their experience too? Feel free to share your gratitude here today and acknowledge some of the amazing people that have deeply moved you in your life.
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the main author of EvolvingBeings.com where she writes about spiritual and personal development. She hopes to inspire people, to truly live out the life of their dreams and awaken the highest version of themselves. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow Evita Ochel on Twitter.
20 Comments to “When Words Are Not Enough – Simply Allow”
Thanks for sharing. Allowing sometimes also means allow “bad things” happen, allow your “enemy” to be what they are, I found that more powerful.
Evita, I am so deeply moved by your writing today. These words, I feel so connected with. And it all reminds me of why I’m here, what draws me in to this place – a “safe” place. Like coming home, coming here brings me much peace in my life.
What your students have been saying, through cards, through hugs, through spoken words, and more – Evita, this IS because of you and how deeply you connect.
I feel that here – this deep connection with you. Reading here today, this was emotional for me. Your words are so, so kind and uplifting. And spoken from what I know to be a true heart. It is an honor to be here, always.
Ever since I’ve began writing, I’ve felt this real belief that the world is good, and that our world is much smaller. There are so many amazing souls who are traveling through this life with us. Evita, you are one of those in my life. More than words can express, being here is so good for my own soul.
I wish you only the best as you end one chapter of your life, and begin a new one.
You ARE making an impact – and in ways I’m sure you’ll never fully realize. Your reach is far, your message always filled with hope and beauty…
Remember that coke commercial when they were all lighting candles? I think it was at Christmas time.
Think of each student you touched as a shining star and in the future each will pass on their spark to someone new.
I had many teachers that were kind to me. I was one of 10 children and the first time I really felt important and significant was when my third grade teacher befriended me. I’m 55 years old and I can remember like yesterday.
You were there for 7 years because those children needed you. I believe you are being led elsewhere because the Internet will allow you to reach greater numbers.
Julie told me about your blog and how much she liked it. I’m so happy she did. I look forward to watching you progress on your amazing new journey. You go girl!
Great thoughts and wonderful insight to other people and their needs.
Thanks for sharing.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Evita, I know what you mean. In fact we are simply human beings and this means we are a complex of mind, heart, body and soul.
This complex system can not work professionaly unless love is found which sometimes cann’t be described by words, as you mentioned.
Evita, like Lance I am deeply moved by this post in particular. Your heart overflows and it shows—even more than usual. ;)
You are gratitude personified, Evita, always. Nothing more than a simple “thank you” could express your sentiments any more completely, because everything else is said by you without words. Your students will see this. I mean, if WE can see all the love you share, those lucky souls who see you in person will be able to feel it just being in your presence.
And yes, I do know exactly what you mean with the other points you made in this article. Any comment I’d make on them would just muddy your eloquent and exquisite presentation. Except I will say you’ve been a shining star in my life, too, for which I’ll be forever grateful. Love, ~Julie
lovely article. thanx for sharing
Every experience is meaningful for the way it shapes you and shifts your vantage point. You touch the souls of others just as they touch your soul. Many people underestimate what goes on in unseen worlds. You are only conscious and aware of part of what si going on. You gradually open up to accept different levels of energy, polarity and discern inner shifts.
Evita,
You’ve written a wonderful article. I have recent experience with this exact thing. I have always been a “giver” type of person and do so without even thinking about it, it’s automatic with me. The thing is I haven’t exactly excelled in the “receiving” department. For whatever reason I have had difficulty give to me or allow people to help. Over the years I grew accustomed to just doing everything myself and not allowing others to help me. In the past year or so I’ve come to know that this isn’t right, for the very reason you state here. By living that “martyr” lifestyle I was in fact robbing others of the experience of giving, and that is wrong. Thankfully, I came to see this (with a little help) and have learned to receive from others. Doing this has actually enriched my life as well as the persons who are doing the giving.
Thanks for the great article and for discussing this important topic. :-)
Hi Evita ~ This is a beautiful post. I have learned to accept and to allow, but it has been a hard experience. For me, it was my insecurity that proved to be the wall I had to scale.
Good luck with your future dreams
xhenry
@ SARAH – Yes indeed, allowing can sometimes not be a positive experience. We should never allow others to mistreat or abuse us in any way.
However, when it comes to acts of kindness, allowing is a nice gesture for both.
@ LANCE – The world is indeed much smaller than we imagine. Look at how we all are able to connect and even more so grow and foster frienships and powerful connections.
In terms of the rest of your comment, I read it many times and just kept shaking my head with a huge smile with the most grandest gratitude I could muster.
So Lance, all I will say is – thank you – but based on this post I am telling you that does not do it justice, as what I feel about your words to me on this page goes much deeper.
@ TESS – Oh Tess thank you so much! LOL, I was laughing when I read the last part, as Julie mentioned to me too what an amazing person you were and what a great blog you had too :) I am so glad thus that we connected!
And as your words say, I truly do feel called elsewhere, and so I do begin a new journey!
@ DOROTHY – Thank you Dorothy and you are so very welcome!
@ HICHAM – Thank you kindly for that lovely addition!
Indeed there are emotions within us, love especially and gratitude as well, that words often do not do justice for.
@ JULIE – Your comments bring huge, and I mean huge smiles to my face. May this post always be a way of how I feel about all the beautiful times you have commented here, or back to me on your site.
A heartfelt thank you yet again Julie.
I feel so blessed, and so thrilled and so at peace that I am able to touch people’s lives in positive ways. May I always be open to consciousness that guides all that I say and do.
@ WHISPER – You are welcome and thanks for stopping by!
@ LIARA – I am always in awe of your way with words. So wise and eloquent – thank you for that, for you have a great gift to share with the world.
Indeed there is much that goes on in unseen worlds, but as we connect more and more to our higher, inner selves, we get to tap into that more and more as well, I believe.
@ KEITH – Wow what an amazing story Keith, thank you so much for sharing it here!
I think there are so many people like you, I think we all fall there at one point or another, and as beautiful as it is to be a giver, there is yet another gift in being a receiver. Both allow us to grow and expand in love and connecting with others.
I am so glad you enjoyed this post and found it helpful – thank you Keith!
@ SOULMERLIN – Thank you so much Henry. What matters today I believe is the person you are, all those experiences shaped you in certain ways and they were all good, because they made you!
Thank you for your visit as always!
Hi Evita,
As I was reading this, it brought tears to my eyes. I envisioned you leaving the “home” you had built for seven years, leaving your “children”. My heart goes out to you. Just as you touched their lives, they have touched yours. No doubt, you’ll be forever in their hearts and vice versa.
I totally agree with the part your wrote about the type of people you’ve found online. Like you, many told me there would be negative and rotten people. And like you, I’ve found the same – wonderful people with loving hearts, always willing to help, to listen, to be there, to share and to care. After over two years of blogging, I haven’t a complaint.
I’ve been thinking about the last part of your post – letting others give to us and being accepting. Years ago I was the one who couldn’t accept a compliment or gift without putting up a “fight”. Maturity taught me the exact thing you wrote. By saying “thank you” we do allow others to shine and give back to them the greatest gift of all.
Evita, I wish you well as you make your way on the path to your new endeavor. I’ve no doubt you’ll be successful in whatever you do.
@ BARBARA – My goodness Barbara thank you so much for all that you have shared here. They indeed will be forever in my heart, as will words like these from you!
Your words have touched me deeply and I find it absolutely amazing and am struck by awe that people barely know me, and yet believe in me like you do.
Honestly Barbara, I feel so blessed, so grateful and just speechless. There is indeed a magnificent force greater than all of us at work here and I revel in every bit of it.
Thank you so kindly once again for all that you have said and for the personal experience you have shared!
I had this teacher once. Pretty much everyday I asked her a question on that day’s lesson. Some of them I swore were petty or stupid questions, but I was curious and she answered them all to the best of her ability. Every single one, never brushing me off, never making me feel stupid about it. She was always around, always making sure we all understood, always sincerely caring about how we did and how we were feeling.
I appreciated it, so much so, that I wrote her a little note at the end of the last assignment I had to hand in to her. Thanking her for well, everything. She accepted it kindly and humbly. Thank you wasn’t enough, but it was the best I could do.
Then a couple of years later, I hear she’s quitting teaching high school, and I’m sad to say the least. I always envisioned her always being there, teaching generations of kids to come.
Then by some twist of fate, I decide I’m going to try eating healthier, and I end up finding her website. I see how well she’s doing, and I’m happy for her. I see how she’s still helping people, and answering other people’s questions. I ask her a question, because again, I’m curious about everything it seems, and she answers it like always.
So thanks… again.
@ AMBER – Hello Amber and wow where do I begin???? I have to tell you your comment left me speechless!!!!
My goodness what a twist of fate indeed!!! But then as I believe there are no coincidences – everything happens for a reason…
First off, I am so, so deeply touched by your words – more than you will ever know. I think again…how do we say thank you when someone offers us a gift that is more priceless than any money could ever buy. Knowing what an impact or difference we made in someone’s life IS that gift. And so I say thank you, but I too know it is not enough, and so I step back and humbly allow.
So yes, I have moved away from formal teaching, but in one way or another I will always be a teacher. Life changed. I changed. I grew in so many ways and realized I wanted, no, make that I needed to reach more people out there.
And another thing that is for sure, is I will never forget all the students like you who I am so happy and blessed to have touched my life – thank you!!!
I feel there is a huge change on our planet today and I want to help as many people as I can transition from a life based on negativity and fear to a life based on peace and love.
And I have to say how wonderful to hear that you are seeking ways to eat healthier. I always say, just as we need to accept and respect our spiritual self, we need to do the same for our physical self.
Thank you so much for being happy for me, as I am really, really happy, complete and so fulfilled. I know this great journey has only begun for me and it is with love and excitement that I greet each new day, to create a as beautiful world as I can for all.
@ Amber/ Evita
Its funny, I had a very similar teacher. Coming into grade 11 I had just been convinced to start going to school again and life gave me exactly what I needed. My first period class was with an extremely understanding teacher that obviously loved her work and her students. She honestly gave me back my love of learning and inspired a love of science in me that I never thought could have existed.
Her enthusiasm and genuine desire for us to do well was inspiring. My passion for learning, and my want to teach, I must say was greatly inspired by this incredible woman.
I have recently been trying to lead a healthier and more fulfilling lifestyle alongside my close friend, and this web site has been extremely helpful so far.
You haven’t stopped teaching, you are just reaching a larger scale now.
Thank you Miss Ochel.
- Jaclyn
@ JAKKI – Now I am left speechless times two! My God what an amazing set of circumstances!!!
Your feedback here is breathtaking to say the least. How amazing to hear all these words. As I said teachers don’t usually know what is going on with a student while teaching them – good or bad, so it is a gift truly to be given this type of news and feedback – no matter when!
So you are so very welcome, but a huge thank you goes right back to you :) As I think I have mentioned in the post above, the 7 years of teaching all of you guys have been such an incredible and rewarding journey that also allowed me to grow, expand and learn so much more about myself!
I am thrilled to hear that you are doing well, and yes life can be and is amazing and so wonderful when we allow it to be. So it is fantastic to hear that you are moving your life in the directions you are.
All the best always and let me know if there is ever any way I can help.
Woo for rendering Miss. Ochel speechless! Yeah, hah, every time we reminisce about high school you end up coming up. This is an awesome set of circumstances, really. I was always a little sad I didn’t do Life Science in university, it was up there on my choices, but I ended up changing my mind. But now I can learn about Biology from my favourite Biology teacher, just by reading all these articles. It’s like researching for a Making Connections, hah. Anyway, I look forward to reading/learning more.
Lovely note! I have been in such situations on several occasions… GBY!
Thank you so much Ramjee for stopping by and your kind feedback :)