A new month is upon us and I am delighted to share with you and introduce you to November’s Evolving Being in Action.
This month the spotlight goes to Marcomé.
I learned about Marcomé when I first came across her site Marcomé.com at the end of the summer of 2009. Amidst the beautiful web design, I was immediately drawn into the following statement “Amongst the best Ambient New Age Music Female Singers of the World” and thus decided to explore further.
And I cannot tell you how glad I am that I did. Marcomé’s music is very beautiful – both the array of tones, sounds, vocals and lyrics provide an amazing experience for the listener. To get to know more about Marcomé’s music check out my review of Marcomé’s music here.
Well, as one thing lead to another, I had the chance to personally get to know Marcomé and discovered that not only is she a very talented artist, but she is also an amazing being. Thus it was my pleasure to feature for you and share Marcomé’s story of change and evolution as an evolving being.
I have no doubt you will find her story deeply moving – both emotionally and spiritually. She shows how we can overcome our own obstacles and reach for a life where we are in control of our own happiness and destiny. She inspires us all to look beyond the past, learn from it and heal.
Thus, here is Marcomé – an evolving being in action – sharing a bit of her heart, mind and soul with all of us:
What area(s) of your spiritual/emotional life have you decided to change and why?
My emotional autonomy! I used to think my happiness and needs depended on external realities such as being married so I’ve put a huge burden on my first husband’s shoulders. Most of my happiness expectations were coming from my married life, being perfect as a mom, friend, daughter, my success through my profession etc.
After a divorce and other roadblocks, I was suffering; my life was apparently falling apart…
Nature and self help books were not enough to cure my inner self anymore. I started getting help from a counselor who brought me to realize that happiness is a state of being; it’s a decision to become responsible to take care of your needs…all of them! You don’t rely on external conditions anymore to provide yourself with care, love, food etc. Unfortunately, we’re shown the opposite most of the time in movies and on television series where people are perfect, rich, fusional, always have make up even when they get out of bed in the morning! I call it the Snow White syndrome. The consumerism preaches, “You are what you possess, your status in society, your job, your body, your beauty!”
Of course, one has to acknowledge that the responsibility is on his/her lap. If I keep choosing to feed my brain with those values (She/He should take care of me, I’ll be happy when I have this, do this, become that), I feel I’m condemned to more suffering. If I put the fulfilling of my needs in external hands, it’s a kind of emotional slavery.
With the help of books and some counseling, I reviewed all of my beliefs and I still do today every step of the way! To give you examples: “I’m fat, I should be perfect, My father should be this, my boss should do that, I’m stupid, I’m never good enough, Why is this happening to me, my spouse should know and so on…”
I realized I had been thinking in a kind of binary mode, it’s either white or black, no grays… no room for rational thinking, objectivity. I had never figured out till that point that I was unaware of most of my conceptions about so many things.
The sole permanent thing in life is the energy that keeps us alive, not the events of life. I often say, ‘you don’t have all the choices about what life brings you, but you have choices on how you will act on what’s there‘ Will you be helpful? Will you pick yourself up and be understanding, encouraging like you would do for others? If not, realize that you feed self-destructing ways of thinking; this is the absence of love…not love!
What strategies have you implemented to change, who inspired you, person or organization, book, etc.?
My motto is “You are what you think so be aware of what feeds your brain on a daily basis”.
The tools I use to be a better companion to my growth include:
In order to keep track of my inner state, I spend time in silence everyday. I practice awareness. Being spiritual to me is awakening more and more and putting to practice what I read and meditate. I use writing if I’m facing challenges, I confess to my journal, read it back and use the logic of love to welcome my inner child or immature ego who has misconceptions about life and itself.
I read books that are inspiring and uplifting. I watch funny movies to change my mood and de-dramatize. Another film I keep on watching is What the Bleep Do We Know!?. I need to be told that it’s somehow normal to be used to suffering, that it’s a common ground for humanity! I need to be told again and again how patient and perseverant one has to be in order to heal of those “misbelieves” and destructive emotional habits. Healing requires time!
I spend time outdoor almost everyday; I train and stretch my body so that my mind takes a rest! If all of the above does not bring me back to my center then I look for external help. If I’m still entangled in unconscious resistances and beliefs, I talk with my husband, my counselor and some good friends who can handle such conversations. They mirror me back what I think and it helps me be more objective, because I see it from a different perspective and I make a better choice – a choice out of the logic of Love…What would Jesus think, do..? Gandhi, Buddha? Put the source of your inspiration there!
How have the changes benefited your overall life, happiness up to this point?
I integrated the habit of listening to my thoughts. My emotions are my guidance system. If I feel good, no questions asked…goal reached! If I feel anything else, even a subtle discomfort I ask myself “What was I just thinking before I started feeling weird?” I’m now deciding and choosing to be kind to myself, nurturing, loving, supportive, patient, indulgent…most of the time!
The single decision that I’m responsible for my happiness and needs, completely changed my life in all areas.
One by one, all the situations of the past that used to make me upset or anxious or apparently fighting with life went through an awareness process. Do I still want to treat myself like this? Is my way of looking at this situation helping me, or destroying me? Am I realistic in my expectations toward others? Could my parents have done differently really?
Emotional dependency is amongst all of us; it’s a worldwide reality. Humanity is immature; wars, famine, extreme poverty.
Love yourself like others…do you?
What are the next steps or goals in your life as an evolving being?
My single goal is to be happy in the now with whoever, whenever, wherever. It’s a lifetime work!
Being happy here means being responsible for my overall thinking and mental habits; Being happy to me is to become more and more welcoming, embracing, nurturing, caring, realistic, indulgent, patient, perseverant.
I practice the responsibility of love and the days I’m back in discouragement or rejection or any destructive judgmental habits, I practice mercy and unconditional love.
What message do you have for others who are struggling or embarking on a similar journey?
You are not alone!!! One of the first steps in the healing process is to acknowledge we are suffering. Then it’s to willingly decide that you are responsible now for your state of being and that you want to change. As long as you accuse external conditions, you’ll stay stuck in your past. One has to re-interpret and look at his past with objectivity. The people we grew with were mostly immature; the grand parents of our grand parents were immature. So… will you keep feeding the destructive habits?
The good news is that you’re not your past, your lost spouse, job, and sickness. Your capacity to love in the now is apparently locked by fear, deception that is part of a survival mechanism. This is normal. As a kid, you had to find ways to evolve in the absence of love and approval at times. So we all develop strategies to survive. For example: “I’m stupid that’s why my father treats me like that, that’s my fault.”
Let’s say an abusing alcoholic parent who was unhappy raised your own parent. Well this parent of yours had in him self destructive habits and the circle of violence ended up in your own life. Your parent did not like himself either. You learned to survive with this and it made emotional traps that you might decide to change from now on. Habits that are destructive: victimization, fatalism, over rationalization, discouragement, power trip, idealism and so on.
You have to grieve your inner child, embrace him and do the job of being a loving parent to yourself. This is the path to emotional healing, emotional maturity. Become the love we so much wanted when we were born and raised!
The past is to be used to better understand that you did what you could, with what you had and received. Now it’s up to your decision and will to change, heal, understand, study, comprehend, forgive, one day at a time.
You are not alone! You’re a divine creature, remember! Perseverance, patience and mercy are all required in your mental diet! Become your best friend. You’ll wake up and go to bed with your inner self for the rest of this life!
Success relies on unconditional acceptance of what life brings you.
I wish you courage & perseverance,
Marcomé xxx
Here is a collection of books and films I keep on using to feed my soul with positive energy:
1. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
2. Naomi’s Breakthrough Guide: 20 Choices to Transform Your Life by Naomi Judd
3. Don’t Stop At Green Lights; Every Woman’s Guide to Taking Charge of Her Life and Fulfilling Her Dreams by Peter A. Wish
4. What the Bleep Do We Know!?
18 Comments to “Evolving Being In Action: Marcomé”
Evita, this is beautiful sharing about changing one’s emotional anatomy as Marcome calls it.
It so shows how we can get our power back by going for explanations that sit well with our mind AND our heart.
I love how she acknowledges that it takes some doing to change one’s emotional posture though. I too do not find it easy and even when the explanations are so clear and make so much sense, there are a lot of beliefs that we need to change and it shows that our mind is not that prepared to let go of the old ones that easily. I too find it very helpful to get the support from others, it makes a lot of difference when others ‘sponsor’ me into my journey to change and others let me ‘sponsor’ them.
This sharing is important to get the fact that we are NOT alone, for me this connecting will eventually end the separation that is at the root of all suffering.
Thank you both, love Wilma
Evita,
I was introduced to Marcome when you featured her music here, and was instantly drawn into the connection I felt with that music. What a gift to experience her in more depth here today.
Marcome,
Two things I connect very much with are quiet time, and nature. Seeing your draw to both of these, as well, took me into that space – if even briefly. Where I feel this the deepest has been on very solitary bike rides on a local bike trail, out in the woods. In the quiet, in the stillness, surrounded by the trees and green all around – I’ve been moved close to tears at times. I think part of that is where my mind and heart venture off to in these moments. Still, there have been some deeply moving thoughts on that trail. And they trip always ends in joy – joy for life and what can be.
I also find it very soul- touching when I think that I’m not alone – so hearing those words here is very much taking me to a deeper part within me, and in a real belief that our world is filled with people who don’t judge. I know that’s not everyone, but I do believe there are those out there who look with care and compassion – and that’s a feeling that resonates with me whenever I touch upon my soul…
Its always wonderful to hear the differing stories that we all have, and to see that although they all appear different, they are actually all the same. We become blocked and seperated from the flow of feeling life that is before us. The barrier created builds up tension where energy wants to flow, but becomes like water that is behind a dam. Realize that there is a dam, or that we are suffering and inflated, then we can take steps to illeviate the suffering and to put holes in the barrier and the ego. Soon the energy begins to flow again, the bubble deflates, and we find that we are on a journey to alleviate and dissolve pressure and tension in our lives. We have now engaged upon a conscious journey to be whole again.
Hi, Evita. I just love this series. :)
Hello, Marcome. You feel to me as if we are sisters! Our stories of growth are so very similar: how we came to make our changes and in what way we now express them, the beliefs we hold. In reading you, I felt as if I were experiencing deja vu! And yet, as Bernie says, it’s remarkable to see that all our stories’ of blockage and separation are variations on a theme. It’s the human story.
You state, “You learned to survive…made emotional traps… Habits that are destructive: victimization, fatalism, over rationalization, discouragement, power trip, idealism and so on. You have to grieve your inner child, embrace him and do the job of being a loving parent to yourself.” A visual example of this (for those who learn best that way) is to first see ourselves as wholly beautiful, nakedly innocent children; then see the same children wrapped in layers of clothing donned as protection from cold and hurts and all manner of threats to our comfort and sense of safety. Over time, after layer upon layer, we can no longer see the naked beauty underneath all the clothing. It’s up to us to remove our layers and expose our “cleanliness” so we may shine as beautifully as we are meant to do. It is then we become free.
It’s wonderful to meet you, Marcome!
I love how she said that it’s a decision to take care of our needs – all of them. When we understand what makes us happy, sad, and neutral we can do a better job of making our life into the reality that we desire.
I also used to put a ton of pressure on people to make me happy. I too sought help in a counselor. My counselor taught me that happiness is created by me, not given to me.
What a great interview!
“Happiness is a state of being.” That’s a wonderful realization, and it is probably with that realization that many of us decide to live consciously and not in reaction to conditioning and the past.
Thanks for sharing your journey, so eloquently and beautifully!
@ WILMA – Hello Wilma and thank you for your insights on Marcome’s story!
It is so true there are many beliefs that so many of us have to “undo” to find the true selves within us. And it definitely never hurts to have support from loved ones around us :)
@ LANCE – Hi Lance and thank you for taking the time to read Marcome’s story – I think it is a fascinating story of growth and healing indeed.
I am also happy that you enjoy her music – me too! It is just so “earthy” and angelic in a sense.
@ BERNIE – Thanks for adding in your thoughts Bernie.
There are many blocks I am sure we have all had to deal with. How we allow that vital life energy to flow through us is I believe a critical part in how much freedom, happiness or joy we derive out of life and ourselves.
@ JULIE – Thanks Julie! It is so good to hear feedback like that as I always hope that through these different stories we can learn with, through and from each other. We are all one – and when one of us does something, another can vibrate with those choices and see if they are for them or not and decide accordingly.
It is amazing I think what Marcome went through and how she healed herself along the way. I also found some similarities to my life here, your story and I am sure many other peoples. Our journeys are unique and yet sometimes so similar…
@ KARL – Hey Karl and thanks for popping in to read Marcome’s story. I think that learning how to find and have one’s own happiness is a huge step and a very important one at that to realize in life.
So often WE put unfair expectations on those around us to PROVIDE us with this or that – but ultimately that is not their job. Most of us now know that if we are not truly happy inside with ourselves, there is nothing another can do or say to change that fundamentally.
@ KAUSHIK – Hi Kaushik – thank you for taking the time to share in Marcome’s story.
Happiness is an awesome state of being – and it is amazing how life changes once we realize that!
I certainly resonate well with happiness as a state of being. Life responds more positively when we start to make critical inner changes. Indeed, challenges present themselves to teach us on taking charge of our lives! Great interview! Thanks, Evita, for featuring the interview with Marcomé!
Thank you for featuring Marcome, both her music and her philosophies on life. I love her music, I spent hours on her website the first time I came across it. She is so talented, and really incredibly nice, too. Like Lance said, the idea that we are not alone is very comforting to me, and so I was glad to hear it echoed from Marcome here.
This was a wonderful interview and I truly find this series a hallmark or bookmark of hope and possibility. Peeling away the layers as Julie says, and silence and meeting needs. So much beauty is the outcome and I can feel the vibrations.
I enjoy Marcome’ website also and her lovely music resonates with me
Many thanks
[...] recently sat down for an interview with my friend and fellow Canadian, Evita Ochel. We discussed spirituality, emotional health, and my own journey over the years that has led me to [...]
What a profound interview! I’m grateful I have found your blog and this magnificent Marcome. Thank you so much.
I just got the River album and am working to lower my blood pressure by listening to the several of the songs…very nice…there is an MP3 player on my iphone…and my kiddo put the music on it…sweet
Marcome is a wonderful person. I feel blessed to know her. She’s a delight.
@ EVELYN – That is so true Evelyn! Thanks so much for stopping by to share in Marcome’s story!
@ JAY – Hi Jay, and pleasure is all mine! That sounded like me too…I was so taken in by her site, music and videos when I first found them all. I am glad to be able to introduce this talented soul, and very inspirational being to more people :)
@ PATRICIA – Hi and that is so wonderful to hear! You know studies have actually proven indeed that calming music that is beautiful, especially with nature tones, does wonders for our blood pressure, and overall well being!
@ SUE – Hello Sue, welcome and thank you so much for that feedback!
@ STEFAN – Hello Stefan, I so agree with your expressions. Thank you so much for stopping by :)
What a great interview. It seems to me that Marcome could write a book about the subject. Not only is she a proficient musician and artist, but she’s truly bringing some wisdom in this world with those words of love. I will digg into the book suggestions. A huge thanks to both of you, Evita and Marcome. Jamie
Thankyou i was wondering what i was doing wrong xQ)
I knew I loved the music but now I love the woman! Marcome is a delight, a kind of singing Oprah… I totally relate to this sense of responsibility in general, the world is facing new choices, big challenges, climate changes etc. We need to get our act together and become responsible. Period!