“When having more leaves you empty, you discover true happiness lies in enough!“
~ Bob Perks
In our society the way it is constructed today, it seems that we never have “enough” and that we are in a constant search for “more“. And this really can apply to anything and everything, be it money, love, possessions, time, etc.
Last year, I explored the topic of always chasing “more” in the article entitled, “Our Obsession with ‘MORE’.” This is a topic that I feel can be discussed from many angles, and it is something that I teach about regularly, as most people do not realize the inner peace that comes from stopping that vicious cycle of chasing or needing “more” and understanding when there is “enough“.
“Enough” in fact, is not that easy to get to. The homeless man on the street can have “enough“. The corporate CEO that owns 4 companies can have “enough“. Yet at the same time, both of them can also be chasing ‘more‘. It all just depends on what is within us that is driving our decisions. Is it your Ego or your Higher Self?
The Ego is never satisfied with “enough“. Your Higher Self is always at peace with “enough“.
Boundaries, Balance and Enough
Recently I read two really fantastic articles from Wilma Ham of Wilma’s Blog on Women Like Me. The first one was “When is ‘enough’ enough?” and than she followed up with “Setting Boundaries Will Give Us ‘Enough’.”
In the first article, Wilma explores what it means to have enough from a practical level, especially when it comes to writing, blogging or spending time online. Today we are inundated with social media. There always seems to be that one more site to check out, that one more tweet to send, that one more comment to make. So is “enough” even possible in a medium that is constantly growing and giving us “more“? This is where Wilma explores really – when is ‘enough’ enough?
There comes a point where we really need to look at what is driving us and what is really important to us at the end of the day.
Wilma’s second article follows up with how we can set boundaries in our lives, to achieve balance. And there is nothing quite as delicious as having balance in ones life. Your health benefits, your family and friends benefit, your mind is clearer, life takes on more meaning and so many more things just seem to align the right way, and life just feels great to live it!
And so today, I want to share with you a passage, which I hope you can use as a personal reflection. I am not sure who the author is, but it is based on a book by Bob Perks called “I Wish You Enough“. Perhaps you have heard it before, perhaps you haven’t.
Regardless, I invite you to read it all (even if again), read it slowly, let the words really sink in, so that you can decide for yourself what they are awakening you to.
Are you constantly chasing ‘more‘? Do you know how to find ‘enough‘? And what kind of balance is your life in today?
Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, ‘I love you and I wish you enough’.
The daughter replied, ‘Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom’.
They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, ‘Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?’.
Yes, I have,’ I replied. ‘Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?’.
‘I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is – the next trip back will be for my funeral,’ she said.
‘When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough’. May I ask what that means?’.
She began to smile. ‘That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone’. She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. ‘When we said , ‘ I wish you enough’, we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them’. Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them but then an entire life to forget them.
Wishing you balance and ‘enough’ always!
*Photographs provided by EvolvingScenes.com
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the founder and editor of EvolvingBeings.com – an online publication featuring various topics on spirituality and metaphysics. Evita teaches consciousness expansion and heart-centered living to help people attain deep meaning, peace and happiness in their life. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow her on Twitter.
28 Comments to “The Balance of ‘Enough’ versus ‘More’ – My Wish For You”
Hi Evita — thanks for this — the way I like to think about this is that I exist on two levels, one where I am enough and another where I am not and need more to be complete. When we’re conscious only of the second level, life becomes suffering — but if we’re only conscious of the first, we fall into a sort of “divine coma” and cannot survive without others’ help, like some saints in India who are fed and clothed by their followers.
Hi Chris
That is a great perspective and way to see it. Indeed there is a physical and spiritual aspect to this journey and balance in all areas seems to be the key to happiness, peace and conscious growth.
Oh Evita, I have found that exploring the ‘enough’ question has led me to being peaceful and only in that peaceful state do I connect with the divine laws of life.
“Once you understand enough, you also respect God”.
When I first read this in ‘Love without End’ by Glenda Green I did not understand it at all but I think I am getting it now.
Knowing you have enough, you have done enough means you no longer exhaust yourself. You have time to be peaceful, to be still, to access your heart and your divine knowing. That means that you respect the divine order, that you know that you are given all the resources you need to live a divine life and that you do not have to wear yourself out to force things to happen. Hmmmm.
Once I got that distinction I knew that knowing ‘enough’ is an important distinction to come to grips with.
It still can freak me out when I look at my Google reader and see all the new unread posts and it is late at night.
But then what am I doing? Am I saying that Evita and all my other blogging friends are so fickle that when I do not immediately comment they no longer want to know me? Do I realize that with my freaking out I disrespect our connection, our integrity?
This daily example showed me that I am doing the same with the divine.
I am NOT on my own responsible for enough in my life, I have a team if I let them.
Thanks Evita for exploring this topic further, it is so important to allow the divine in our daily doing by understanding ‘enough’.
Love Wilma
Hi Wilma
Thank you so much for the amazing wisdom in your articles again, and for this incredible addition. My heart is jumping out, saying “yes, yes, yes!” to all that you wrote.
When we live from the enough balanced state, we DO see the divine perfection. Exhaustion or lack of, are no longer options.
And what a great example too Wilma about the blogging. I think I got to a similar point, where we especially as bloggers do get caught up so often in the comments, but a lot of people out there read without commenting. This should not be measure ever of friendship or anything, so Wilma always feel free to do what feels right to you.
Blessing to you as you live the wisdom of the “enough”.
Evita,
It’s easy to get caught up in “more”. More things, more prestige, more money, more friends, more activities, etc, etc, etc. Especially when we look outward to the world around us. I would be lying if I said that I have not been there, wanting “more”. And I would be lying if I said that thought hasn’t crossed my mind in the last week. And then – are some “more’s” good and sustaining (I believe so), while others do only feed our ego? And can there be grey areas?
I would like to think that I am good with “enough”. And that I can find some harmony in all of it. And that going forward, I’ll never want for more…especially that which feeds only my ego. And as much as I want that, I am also sure that “more” will cross my mind.
Can we fully let go of this ego-based “more”? I don’t know. I suppose it is possible. The realist in me says that’s going to be difficult. Still, that part of me that see possibility also sees that while I may never fully be okay with “enough”, I do believe very much that I can move in that direction, and that truly I have moved in that direction.
Wow, as I re-read that, does it appear like I have an “ego” problem??? I certainly hope not. Still, I sense something there. Perhaps some exploration further into this is good. To really look within….
Evita, the excerpt you shared is wonderful (and I haven’t read it before). I see that as all part of having some of the good and some of the “not so good” in life. And when we view this all as just enough, what a beautiful perspective to have.
Dear Lance,
Ah, you have touched on very important topics here. And you know what the best part about it was….you became aware. You became the observer, you stepped “out of your mind” – and that is a great place for much growth and expansion.
You know with the idea of some “more’s” being good and not out of the ego….this is a good topic for a further discussion. I once thought about this and have a few examples of people in my own life like this…
Some people may think that surely there can’t be anything wrong with wanting to help people “more” or be “more” kind, etc.. etc…. And there might not be. But what I found is that the ego can attach to ANYTHING – it does not only need to be possessions, material stuff or negative stuff. So I know a few people personally who some would say are perhaps “saints” – they are always looking out for others, always looking for ways to help more. But what actually happened to them is that they now define themselves as helpers and not much else. How do I know….because there is great discomfort if there is no one to help in them. It is like they have lost their sense of purpose or worth.
So yes, the ego can attach to anything and even some “more’s” that would seem noble can work against us. This is not to say that we should just sit and lock ourselves up and do nothing for the rest of our life.
After all the main thing I teach on this site is for continued growth. Some can see that as seeking a state of “more”. And even with that, I have often meditated on how to balance that. I think we have plenty of examples in our world, especially of religious leaders, who sought “more” divinity and today think they are somehow “above” others or “more special”, etc.
So in the end, as always consciousness is key. Living in the balance of growth and yet being okay with what is. Brining out awareness to what is and what could be, and feeling how each make us feel. Are we attached to one over the other?
In the end Lance, we all do have an ego – it is part of being human – but how much we associate, attach or define ourselves through it, is what matters. And the best way to check that, is moments of stillness, presence or consciousness. Just making sure that although we are committed to further growth in many areas – we are also okay with being where we are and having what we have right now.
Thank you for your expansion upon this topic!
Hi Evita! This was a marvelous post! I’m so happy to be at a stage/age of my life where I couldn’t ask for more. I see so many people chasing – be it chasing some dream of success with something or whatever, just people being so driven that they overlook the beauty of what they HAVE right now, right here in some justifiable quest for yet something more! This post is wonderful!
hugs
suZen
Hi Suzen
Why thank you so much!
I bet it is a phenomenal state to live out of, as I find myself there many times. I think the last and biggest obstacle for me to overcome a “more” was getting caught up in the online world of “more” like Wilma. Today it is so much better, because it is so true, not only can it be draining, but we get caught up in each other’s chase and in the end it is so futile….
So thank you for sharing your sentiments and teaching the rest of us by example that a state of enough is possible and feels SO good :)
This is a fantastic story. I listed in my birthday wisdom yesterday that I always have enough of everything even when I think I don’t. I also said that as bloggers no matter where our goals etc lie once we reach whatever we desire our ego moves the line.
Now if we set an intention of showing more generosity, kindness and love does our ego still move the line? I don’t think it does. I think just the opposite happens in fact we’re tempted to keep score, feel unappreciated, and unfairly treated.
I believe the answer is balance and non-judgment. Balance for me and less judgment of what anyone else is doing with their “enough” or “not enough.”
Anne Frank at 12 years old believed she had enough in the midst of insanity. She didn’t spend her days sitting around hoping for things to be better. Instead she kept a diary to teach us even in the most horrible conditions we have enough if we have love.
Hi Tess
Thank you, I really liked it too :)
And a big yes again about the blogging part. I think with blogging it can be like with money. A person may want to earn say $500,000 a year, they get that and they move into the next stage, feeling, thinking that they need “more”.
This is why today I rock back and forth between states when it comes to the sites and traffic and all. Some days I feel that I know my goal and know I will not want anything past that (if it comes great, if not great too) – but the even better days are when I don’t give it a second thought and know that everything is perfect right where it is.
As for the more generosity, kindness and love…that is a tricky thing as I explained to Lance above. Our ego can attach to ANYTHING, so if we move onto these areas for whatever personal gain, our ego can move along with that and make us feel that that is the way we define ourselves and express ourselves to the world.
Doing things just because, without any expectations back is key here and also living from a state of awareness of our thoughts, words and actions is best. This way we are more in tune with why we do what we do.
And as I also mentioned above, it is not about freezing ourselves up and not moving forward in any area, but about finding that healthy balance, that I believe is possible when it comes from a state of awareness.
I love this passage and will hold it dear to my heart. Thank you!
I find I am at peace with “enough” in each moment; until/unless I allow other’s concept/opinions/ideals to influence my own. When I stand in Faith and my heart is full, everything in each moment is enough; however, when any inkling of fear trickles in now “it” becomes not enough. That is key for me. Faith versus fear.
Being heart centered, knowing my heart is full, I only have the feeling of “needing” storage of anything when someone tells me I *should* have it–whether it is time, energy, money, material–once I hear *should* my mind turns on and my life changes in that moment until I access my heart again.
Hi Joy,
That is so wonderful to hear :)
What you stated works for you is so much how I feel I operate. It is only when we allow comparison in from others, or their influence that we can get knocked off track and feel like somehow, “we” are not doing or being enough.
What a beautiful way to express this Joy – thank you so much!
I love this topic, Evita, and believe that as we grow more aware of our egos, and allow ourselves to awaken from ego-domination, “enough” becomes what we have moment-to-moment. Always.
Much love to you!
Hi Megan
You said it so simply and perfectly – priceless wisdom!
And same to you :)
Hi Evita .. tying Wilma’s two posts in with your story, or rather Bob Parks’ book, is so very good and so thought provoking as I go through the process of terminal illness with my mother – stroked and no obvious end … her hearing is back and so are her totally appropriate thoughts – amazing woman that she is!! Love this story .. thank you Hilary
Hi Hilary
Thank you for sharing your experience with your mom. Indeed there are many incredible souls on this Earth who are amazing guides and teachers for us – it appears your mom is one of them :)
I am having a lot of success with enough, but I am concerned about why I have “more” than someone else. I wish we all had enough.
Hi Kimberley
Thank you for your comment. It is wonderful to hear that you are happy with your state of “enough”.
As for other people, in reality we can never compare ourselves and say that we have “more” or they have “less” or vice-versa. The reason for that is that everyone considers “more”, “less” and “enough” relative terms. I might have enough say having no car, and someone else, might not have enough with 2 cars.
Having “enough” is truly a relative state of the mind. Even as I mentioned, the homeless man on the street may have “enough”. In the end it is never about the material stuff, but about our inner being and its state.
One more thing too. When we look at the world in general, say the average person in Africa and the average person in the US, it is easy to get caught up in thinking that we have “more” or “enough” and they don’t. But the truth is we don’t know what anyone truly needs to be happy, unless we are them. And secondly all of us on this Earth, have attracted for the most part everything we have or don’t have in our lives, as well we do not know anyone’s karma path or soul evolution. It is human nature to look at the ones who are “less well off” and say that they need what we have, but they may actually be perfectly fine having what they have. Again, we just never know what each soul came here to learn.
So essentially what I am saying, is that it is an amazing thing to be compassionate, kind and generous and help when you feel called to help others. However, enjoy too what you have attracted into your life. Find peace and happiness in all that you do have and all that you don’t.
This is definitely an area where I still need to do some work…
Hi Hanlie
I think this is a huge area of growth for many. And I think it is so because our world, society, friends and even family are always throwing more at us. This gets us caught up in the more and makes us feel that it is the normal way to go – but it isn’t.
Loving yourself, loving what you have and being at peace with it all is golden. Moments of conscious awareness and stillness can get us there the fastest :)
I used to think more would make me happy, but as I age I know that it’s really up to be to be happy where I am. This is difficult because I have goals, but not impossible.
It’s about not getting too attached to the outcome. We need to put in the energy into the goal, but be flexible in what occurs. We can do this by staying present and realizing that the pain and joy are all about the journey.
Hi Karl
Oh Karl that is really awesome to hear. I love when people discover their own wisdom and path of happiness.
And you so got it! It is exactly about not getting too attached to the outcome….when we flow with the rivers of life, everything just goes so much better and easier.
Just amazing words, wisdom and advice in your comment – thank you so much for adding this in!
Hi Evita, I think this is my second time on your blog and what a post! That’s exactly what I needed to read today. And Wilma’s comment above was such a perfect addition to everything you said. I choose to be enough today. Thank you!
Hi Lana
How wonderful always to hear about such good synchronistic events in one’s life :)
I wish you all that you need always in the moment and to truly feel that whatever it may be, it is enough!
I was told once a long time ago that comparison is the root of all evil. Once you compare yourself to someone else, you never have enough. And that is easier said than done. I firmly believe that if we have health and people to love and be connected to, we have enough. The rest will “fall into place”, if you will. Simplistic, but it’s been my experience. I am confident that because I’m healthy and surrounded by wonderful people I’ll never go homeless or hungry. And I’ve learned that that is enough.
Hi Stacey
That is a great point and I can totally see that. There will always be people with more of anything and everything. There is no person out there that has “it all” because what is “it all” anyway?
You have reached a great place of wisdom and maturity in how you see life, and that is an amazing place to live out of and see the world for it brings one much peace and happiness, no matter what.
Thanks for that awesome comment Stacey!
Evita, even at 63 I often find myself making sure I’m in sync with what I really need to accomplish for me.
Thus, reading and pondering your thoughts helps me stay grounded which is always the challenge.
Blessings and success..
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Hi Dorothy
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences about being grounded. Indeed in a world that pulls and pushes us in all sorts of directions, it isn’t always easy.
Thanks for stopping by, your words are always appreciated :)