I have to say, I agree about the “painful” part but at the same time about letting the child learn. And although I do not have my own kids “perhaps yet”, having been a teacher for 7 years, I see how quickly kids learn when they are left to experience a healthy dose of independence.

This is something as parents and teachers we cannot forget about – if we keep spoon feeding them in any area of their life, then this is what they come to expect and out the window go a lot of skills needed to develop into a self-accountable adult.

I find that whether it is kids or heck even spouses, if they expect something from their “external” environment, then they go through life also blaming that “external” environment when things don’t work out in their life, instead of taking responsibility for their actions and results.

Thank you for stopping by Jannie!

@ BILL – Hi Bill and thank you so much for your feedback.

I am thrilled to hear that you like what you have found, I really appreciate the feedback :)

A definite great read…:)

-Bill-Bartmann

But to say that last year I reminded my child about her homework folder. This year, as painful as it may be, I will let that be her sole responsibility so she can learn the consequences of forgetting to take it back to school. That will hopefully get her in the swing of it for her coming years. A good foundation now will hopefully lead to a life-long of responsibility.

I’ll keep you posted on it!

And I have to say, I totally understand where your party idea stands. As important as I think that it is to make your child an important priority of your life – once you decided to have them, I know it is equally important to not lose yourself in this process and that is what a lot of these parents do when they make their child their whole life.

There go the hobbies, the romantic moments, the trips, the silliness and many times a sense of self.

Eckhart Tolle describes this idea of “self” beautifully too when he explains the idea of the self identifying with roles. Well one of the roles that many adults identify with in our society is that of parent – and that is it. It takes over their whole being and existence and leaves them very vulnerable if the child should leave them in any way. They are great as long as they have the child by their side 24/7 and can control them, but this type of setting usually leads to disasters as we know kids do grow up and begin to choose for themselves things that may or may not be in line with their parents “hovering” type of paradigm.

This post reminds me of the fact, years ago, when our son was a baby, than a toddler, we held a large Christmas party every year, we invited no children, there was alcohol, funny gifts, and the tongues could fly. A place for children.. no, my house, my party, my food, my hospitality.. I can not tell you the controversy that was created, when my invitation stated.. NO kids.. my kid was not present, he was with Grandma & Grandpa, parents need to be friends and lovers, amongst their friends.. a child’s place is not every where, and we should not make it that we are everywhere in our child’s life as well.

Great write up! Look at Little Sister!