For those of you, who have been reading this site for a few months, you may recall that I am going through a major life change, with the move from a typical, urban lifestyle to a simpler, more natural lifestyle.
The learning opportunities that have presented themselves during this journey, have been incredible teachers. Thus today I would like to share a few of them with you, as they may just change your life when it comes to helping you choose between having a desired outcome now, or having internal peace always.
The New Journey
Back in January of 2010, as the new year ushered in, a new energy was born, that drove my husband and I to partake on a new journey. By the end of March we had sold our house within 1 day, and by April of 2010, we sold one of two cars, and all of our major furniture items, including our television. We were embarking on a whole new adventure and having left our jobs in 2009 facilitated all this perfectly.
We left behind the city life, to move to a simpler and more natural way of life. We felt nature tugging at our heartstrings. We heard the call of Mother Nature. Watching nature shows on television was to be replaced by watching nature in real life. Grocery trips for fresh produce, would be minimized as we would be growing some of our own food. The morning commute would be replaced by morning yoga and meditations. Afternoon rush hour, would be replaced by who could rush into the lake the fastest. And evenings of thinking about the next day, would become reflection periods while gazing at the sky of stars.
The Elusive 3 Weeks
The construction of our home up here amidst the trees and the water, officially began at the end of April. We were told the construction would take 2 to 3 months. We were thrilled with that kind of progress, something one can only get I would imagine when building in a small town and so we put out positive intentions for a smooth process.
The end of June marked the 2 month mark. At the start of July, it was hinted 3 weeks more – we were happy. In the middle of July, we were told 3 weeks more – we were happy. It is the end of July and we are still at “3 weeks more” and we are still happy. Or are we?
It is in this part of the journey thus far, that the most learning opportunities have presented themselves. In fact, I could make a list of at least “50 consciousness expanding things I learned during the construction of our home“… but perhaps another time.
Every Moment Counts
In the grand scheme of things, being a month or so behind during new home construction is not a big deal. I totally get that, and we are super grateful to have this home built as fast as it is going. But it is not about that.
Sure we are somewhat “homeless” and itch a little inside to get settled, but it is not about that either. We have a warm house waiting for us, so many others in our world don’t.
Sure we are excited to start our new life, but we are quickly reminded that life is happening right now. We have already started.
What I have learned, during this part of the journey goes much deeper of when the house will actually be finished or where we live, for we truly believe a home is where we both are together, not the actual structure. The real lessons are about what I am shaping within myself, how I am choosing to create, vibrate and act each moment as this journey unfolds, and what I am prepaving for future moments.
Every moment counts, when it comes to the vibration or frequency we are sending out to the Universe.
As various moments unfold along this journey, whether it be a delay of some kind or unexpected event, I get to declare who I am and what I want in my life. I can react to what is, or I can choose to consciously act. One can create turmoil within, the other internal peace.
Attaching Our Heart For Internal Peace
I recently wrote a guest article for Zeenat of Positive Provocations entitled “Detaching Your Mind, Attaching Your Heart“, where I explained a few of the ways we get attached to outcomes and generate negative emotion.
When we have something we are anticipating and get excited about, whether it is a planned trip, finishing a project or meeting someone at a specific time, it is only natural that we attach emotion and normally with that, an expectation.
So what happens when that expectation does not get fulfilled?
Well, we can question our ability as conscious creators. (Yes, I have done that this month.) We can question things like the Law of Attraction and what went astray in our thinking pattern. (I have done that too.) Or as our columnist and healer Simon Hay teaches, we can understand that we are not always in control.
Moments are flowing through us, just as we are flowing through them. This does not mean that I abandon personal accountability and conscious creation, but just as I explained in the article I wrote on Positive Provocations, we allow some space and clarity to enter into our thoughts, and work with the flow of creation, not against it.
Even in the best of conscious times, our Egos can take us down a path, where we feel we are in control, only to find ourselves diving into and out of, or flat out spiralling down a vortex of negative emotion.
In the end, whether you are building a house or planning a trip or any other event that you may be super excited about, you have choices along the entire way of how much you want to be right, versus how much you want internal peace.
Conclusion
So did I stay happy the whole time this month, as I learned that the house closing was being pushed further and further away? No I did not. I had succumbed to a few moments where I did not allow myself to see the bigger picture. I am grateful though that at this point of my journey, moments like that pass through me very quickly and I am back on a conscious path of creation and allowing in no time.
Life gives us many opportunities where we can choose to sulk, feel sorry for ourselves, act like victims or what have you. We can also find many things to get angry at, or people to get angry with, disappointed and let down by.
But in the end, we are only hurting ourselves.
And so I asked myself the following question several times throughout this month:
Do I choose to declare myself with the frequency of internal turmoil, or do I choose the frequency of internal peace?
I chose internal peace, for I know that the house will get done eventually and everything really is perfect in the moment of now. There are always greater forces at play for all involved, that we may not always be aware of in the moment.
We may not always be happy about an outcome, but we can always have internal peace. It is all up to you.
Looking forward to hearing below in the comments, how you handle balancing conscious creation, while staying flexible to the flow of life.
*Photographs provided by Evolving Scenes Photography
About the author:Evita Ochel, B.Sc., B.Ed., CHN - is the founder and editor of EvolvingBeings.com – an online publication featuring various topics on spirituality and metaphysics. Evita teaches consciousness expansion and heart-centered living to help people attain deep meaning, peace and happiness in their life. She is also a nutritional science and holistic health expert for optimal health and longevity. Learn more about Evita Ochel or Follow her on Twitter.
32 Comments to “The Elusive 3 Weeks: A Lesson on Choosing Internal Peace”
I love what you say about making a choice between how much you want to be right and how much you want internal peace. That statement seems to describe the balance point between ego and consciousness.
Great article and good for you having a home constructed. How exciting is it to know that you were a participant in the creation of your house as well as the creation of your home :D
Hi Darren
Thank you Darren, I heard that also in various versions, by others whether they are talking about personal expectations or personal relationships. It works for everything, every time. We can choose to stand our ground and demand this or that, or we can stay conscious of who we are and what is really important to us deep down.
Dearest Evita,
You are so wise to have made this major shift in your life.
I have made a shift of a similar kind recently too..from the city to a small small town in the far east of india.ofcourse i still have my tv and dont grow my own food..except some herbs..but I can now buy fresh produce (no genetic modifications), no excessive wastage of water or electricity. I feel like I am getting closer to nature…I’m kind of feeling like I’m doing my part to save, nurture, love and acknowledge this beautiful mother earth.
You are so right…that we might not always be happy…but peace can always prevail. One thing I have noticed though..is that when we are calm on the inside, happiness just becomes us….it doesn’t need to happen..its just there. But maintaining that calm and peace…now that’s where all the focus needs to actually be.
Lots of positive love and vibrations coming your way for a speedy construction of an abundantly warm&loving home.
Much Love,
Z~
Hello Zeenat!
Yes, in many ways our journeys are very parallel, and so it is fun to share and learn from each other’s experiences!
And Zeenat you said it all here…. and this is something I was going to add in the closing, but the right words were not flowing for it, and here you said it so perfectly:
“… when we are calm on the inside, happiness just becomes us…”
YES! YES! YES! and hence the reason, the amidst any delays or things, I really am happy, because of the internal peace I have within!
I think having internal peace enables us to have patience. I still fight for the things I believe and desire, but from a position of responsibility. If I stumble I look inwards first. Problem solving is far better than disappointment. I’d rather act, and be wrong, than wallow. Your new home looks beautiful.
Hi Simon,
Bingo! Initially this article was called “…. on choosing Internal Peace and Patience” and then it got too long and made me want to say too much more, so your addition is a perfect pointer to how internal peace, does enable patience!
And I love the line “Problem solving is better than disappointment” – this is my husband Markus’ exact mantra ;) Whenever a delay occurred, he was right there to coach us through how we can focus on a solution, and never the problem :)
Just yesterday, in a conversation with my sister, I shared that even though our home isn’t completed, yet, I’m in no hurry. And I don’t care to fill it with anything else, either, even though we’ve just the basics for what we need. Really, I’m steadily relinquishing my attachments to material things, and retaining/refocusing/regaining (?) my attachment to the only two things that truly matter to me: the best part of myself and my relationship with my husband. All the rest I see as extras, those moments that make up life.
I find that the more I let go, the more peaceful I am. It’s really that simple. Practicing that gets easier each day, yet is also harder in some ways. Interestingly, as I’m releasing my attachment to things, my husband is determined to keep a firm grip on his attachments. In living with our differing viewpoints, it’s just another way we both learn and grow together. Again, detachment comes into play; letting go of our own wishes to find the common ground.
Seeing the big picture and relishing the tiny moments puts everything in perspective—no matter the topic. Touching the peace within is far easier, this way.
Hi Julie!
Yup, I so know the feeling about relinquishing material attachments. When we first sold our other house and the big things in it… it felt so good! And this is a critical area where I have to remember to stay conscious in as we start a new journey in this house… and that is, not to let excitement blind me in any way, as to what value I assign to anything that we place in this house.
There is nothing wrong I believe with having certain material things, and even enjoying them, but it is all in the attachment to them, that we start to lost sight of the deeper meaning of us, the stuff and what it is all for.
And I echo that sentiment Julie… the more we let go, truly the more peace-filled we are!
Interesting the duality at play with you and your husband, but there is a great reason for that too, as you both express parts of yourselves.
Oh Evita, you write with such wisdom and reflect to all of us the inner contrast between a need to attach, and our eternal DIVINE state of utter detachment (because we are ALL, and ALL is us — so there’s nothing to “attach” to really).
I am so proud to know you during this time. You’ve been teaching me a lot these past few months, and right now, I’m learning how to embody grace.
I like the idea that it’s less about our beliefs in how powerful we are, what we should be able to control, etc. and ultimately it’s simply about what frequency we’re vibrating at. I have a catch-all I use to quell myself when things don’t align with how my conscious mind thinks they should, and that’s: It’s All Good & What Needed To Happen.
Hi Megan
Oh you sweetheart you, you always make me feel so uplifted and well, your words just melt me, Megan, they really do.
You brought up an excellent word too, that I think I understood for the first time in my life so well with this whole experience and that is GRACE.
So yes, I rejoice today, I really do, for whether in the some of the moments that passed, I felt dismayed at times, everything that needed to happen, did so perfectly.
Hi Evita,
My ego was tugging and I mean tugging at my purse strings a few hours ago. I knew in my heart to make a purchase was not the peaceful thing to do, nor was it what I wanted or needed!
So I took a huge break and did something completely different with my energy. LOL then I read this. I not only love what you wrote but I learned something from everyones comments! Remember I told you Sunday I read comments;) Yes even if I fall into my ego stuff and become unpeaceful I can always choose again. I’ve been peaceful all day because I never let it go;) Thanks for writing what it seems everyone needed to hear…even though I made the correct choice.
Hi Tess
I so agree, the comments on this article, can make an incredible post on their own… and I will very much be considering that!
And you got it! That is the best part, that in every moment we can recreate ourselves anew and choose again :)
Only in being able to be peaceful and unattached we can go into the unknown to follow our calling, our desire.
I am finding out that when you go on an unknown path that attachment how things happen are NOT ‘helpful’.
Nature and the bigger plan do NOT only consider your rhythm, we have to to consider theirs if we want to co-create. I am sooo learning that and yes I am also learning to look at the wholesome ‘what is so’ in those ‘moments’ ; I remember a delicious anticipation of what is to come, I have a loving companion AND I look at what is there to do right now.
Oh Evita, it sure requires a check on what is going on inside and then correcting when necessary. But it is worth it, what a life we are having. xox Wilma
Hello Wilma
How beautiful and true…. we have to consider nature’s rhythm, and I believe that was very much a part of this whole experience. It is not just about us.
And I so agree Wilma, it is so worth it, for when we do, we allow ourselves to grow, to the next higher version of ourselves!
Evita,
When I read your story, a part of my energy wishes to send along as many prayers and blessings as I can to help speed up the building of your home, and another place within wishes to simply honour the peace you have as a ‘conscious creation.’ :) Perhaps, I can honour both of these aspects? And perhaps anyone else who is called to do the same can also help send along the flow of divine manifestation your way, according to your free will and hearts and souls desire, so that your home is open in its material manifestation just as it is in your heart?
As for your question, I have been discovering that the flow of life, and myself as a co-creator, are all one-in-the-same, even though there are times when they feel separate and even incompatible! When this occurs, I find it is because a rebirth wishes to take place. And when this rebirth is honoured, it flows again in a way that I can embrace with ease. But when it is halted, the energy feels like a blockade until I discover the “why?”
May whatever you need on this journey come and bless you and your husband and your happy home! And may we all be the most love-filled co-creators we can be.
Well Wishes,
Unity
Hi Unity
Thank you Unity, I think you have hit perfectly on the balance of helping, without interfering – that is a fine balance, but one that you exemplified beautifully in your response.
And I love the way you said that yes, indeed when they feel separate there is an opportunity for rebirth.
Thank you for all your well wishes! I have felt this week the vortex of energy open strongly and we are moving along very smoothly with the whole project.
“3 more weeks”…I don’t know anyone who built a home who hasn’t heard something like that! I, too, would have lost my mind. I agree it’s expectations, as you said. I also think it’s a feeling of unsettled. Which some would argue is also internal. In the end, I’m glad to hear you got a little frustrated, who wouldn’t! It’s important to feel everything, and as you said, have the tools necessary to move through it.
Much patience and peace to you in these final “3 weeks”!!!
Hi Stacey
Yes, the unsettled feeling is very true… Even though, the room we are renting now is more than wonderful and the host, very accommodating – and internally I have nothing to complain about.
I think the biggest challenge is making peace with being in limbo, and I love the learning and experience I got from this!
Hi Evita — thanks for this — I liked how you recognized that the frustration of not having what we want is itself an opportunity, because it gives us the chance to get familiar and intimate with our feeling of frustration, and perhaps to see that it’s not a problem or obstacle but rather a child part that wants attention and care.
Hi Chris
Writing this gave me even more clarity on the situation, and it is amazing how when I released it all to the Universe, the bigger picture got so much clearer.
And absolutely, nothing today I would really consider a problem, they are all, and to me have always been simply opportunities to get creative, respect the larger purpose and focus on the solutions that are infinite!
Evita-
I had recently considered buying dwarf fruit trees and making a dwarven orchard. From there, I would harvest the homegrown, organic fruits and can/dehydrate/otherwise store them.
Then my brain goes racing off into business land and before you know it, I’m (mentally) the Mrs. Fields of home canned apple butters and strawberry jams. :)
http://www.fast-growing-trees.com/ is what came up when I did a search for dwarf fruit trees.
Have you considered growing your own fruits, vegetables, and herbs?
Jeanie
Hi Jeanie
Yes, we are definitely going to be growing some of our own food. As I mentioned above, it is one one of the new changes that we are loving incorporating into our new lifestyle.
The link you provided is to an American site however. For us being in Canada, it would not be ideal to order. What we will be growing will be mostly from seeds too.
I love this idea and the way your wrote about it is wonderfully clear. In my own life, I see this choice. I do get caught in the wanting to be right now and again, but it is not the norm as there is always another way or something else happening… it is just the way life works and life has reasons of its own.
That said, my challenges is in relationships that I have to maintain when I would rather not due to their toxicity or the lack of respect demonstrated toward me and the lack of honesty. There are times when calls go unanswered and questions unanswered until the last minute and I find myself frustrated due to the disrespect for the time and thoughts of others. I feel like I am unable to do my own thing until I have the information requested and then I hear the excuses as to why the calls weren’t returned and the information not provided until last minute. And my daughter is in the middle so it isn’t that I can leave the relationship… just that I have to figure out how to live a life with direct influence by someone who doesn’t respect me. It is that boundary – that desire to choose a life without this person and yet the reality being I can’t. It is that boundary that says his lack of respect is not important – yet his lack of respect means that any plans I make can change depending on his plans… and often he is simply clueless to the plans his wife has until the last minute. So is he doing this with malice – no, just thoughtlessness.
Sigh…
Hi TE,
You are right on in seeing that life definitely has reasons for everything, I stand by that completely.
I felt in my heart what you needed to and expressed above. I am sure it is not easy, and none of us can fully understand what the right way to handle it would be, unless we were in your shoes.
However, I do feel compelled to mention something based on what you wrote…. I know that this is a tough situation either way, but, and here is the big BUT, there is the choice of freeing yourself from this relationships, either partially or fully. Society dictates what should and should not happen… as I am gathering what this situation and relationship that is causing you this angst is all about, but TE, you can choose your own path. You can find the freedom that your soul, so desires.
And this may be the hardest part to hear, but another person will only “abuse” us (however small or large that abuse is) only as long as we allow it. I know in this case you may be thinking, “then what do I do, cut all chords… I can’t do that” – but it need not come to that. There are ways where we can go on with our life, even if we have an irresponsible or disrespectful person in our life. It is all about ALLOWING, but not TOLERATING. It is not an easy concept at first, but once one really gets it, it is actually quite easy.
If you are interested on putting this into practice and seeing how it can work for you, look up Neale Donald Walsch’s “The Heart of Truth Seminar”…. I think it would be exactly what you could use. And if you are open to channeling, look up the work of Abraham Hicks on “The Art of Allowing”.
Sending you my love to wrap you up in an energy of healing, for I sense your pain.
I like how you owned up to your feelings. None of us are perfect, we should never expect to be. I feel the same way about my business and blog. I have some really good months then some not so good ones. I want to be chased by clients all the time, but this is not where I’m at. It’s actually ok, even though just like you it doesn’t feel that way.
I need to take on your attitude. I’m here in this position for a reason and I need to soak it up, learn as much as I can then adjust.
We all have something in our lives that feels out of sorts. That’s why money doesn’t matter. The more we have the more we want. It’s about finding internal peace in each moment. That’s what truly matters.
Hi Karl
Yes, those “out of sorts” feelings I believe are our cues to expand, or grow or evolve. They are our opportunities and ones which I believe we give ourselves to further our soul evolution. Naturally, we are always able to choose how or even if we respond to these calls.
And in the end, truly it is about internal peace – this is what I value most in my life today.
As I lay under a perfect sky on a beach in front of my own construction project something pulls me to your site and I read this… We are living in a parallel universe sweet sister all of my love for your blessed words
Hi Doug
Incredible indeed! I often think how your project is going and I feel that parallel connection.
Thank you for your kindness and presence always!
Hi Evita .. I love your story of being peaceful with your project .. it’s the thought of the finish that spurs us on .. to be tolerant, to ensure completion is tidy and fulfilling .. to go with the flow – hurrying things makes matters worse usually and everyone cross.
Life is a journey and being peaceful with ourselves as we travel it .. is so important .. enjoy the fruition of your desires and thoughts as completion gets nearer ..
Hope it is now nearer .. I’m late here! .. byeee and enjoy today in your nature filled world .. Hilary
Hello Hilary
Yes, all too often we learn this the hard way… rushing truly gets things slowed down. When we rush, we usually lose the full level of our awareness or consciousness, and from here things tend to spiral in the opposite directions of where we want to be.
And Hilary…. 3 weeks have passed since… in many ways it is nearer as we have moved in, but our home is still not ready. But peace prevails….
Home like Love or any concept can be perpetually redefined till we rediscover the core essence that ideas lead us back to……Home is where the heart is. Home is here and now. Home is being comfortable with what is. Home is where I place my attention upon without judgement. Home is feeling at rest in the place of our own construction….which includes our houses, our bodies, our minds, and our hearts.
If we place any expectations on our goals or intentions, then anxiousness settles in. Its as if we do not have faith in the final outcome. We become trapped and enslaved to time. Home is in the Journey.
Over the winter, spring, and summer….we hiked from Alabama to Maine in the Appalachian Mountains. The final climb was Katahdin….which translates as the Greatest Mountain. It was our attention to arrive at this mountain, but if we were to find ourselves obsessing with such an endeavor, we would have never made it there. Stress and tension would have overcome the body. Just believing that the intention will come true is enough to make it happen. One then has faith in the process…step by step…no matter what happens along the way.
When the house is finished…will it automatically become a Home? One embraces its contents to feel at peace with one’s surroundings. The contents change from day to day as one then occupies such a space. Even new thoughts that one then brings into the premises will influence the atmosphere of such a place. Negative thoughts then will have the power to make you feel not at home in the Home that you thought to create.
When we find peace of mind in all that we do, in all that we think, in all that we become….We will have found our Home once again, in a place where we are free and comfortable to Live LIFE Fluently.
Hi b
I found myself smiling as I read your comment especially about the climb up Katahdin mountain. I felt the parallel journey.
It is so true… if you started that journey focusing on when you would be done, why even take the journey at all? And a climb like the one you had to do, would have seemed like a huge chore… perhaps deterring one from doing it at all as uncertainty set in.
It is so true…. that a house is a home based on what we dictate with our energy, not when the walls are ready and keys are in hand.
This was beautiful to read – thank you!